Some days are hard
I'm going to ramble a bit.
There are some days when I feel like I am absolutely crushing it at being a mom.. And then there are days like today where I feel so tired and so drained. I have intense "mom guilt" over pretty much every little thing and I have never felt so lonely in my life. My husband is great and he helps and supports me but there are days when I just wish I could be a dad.. Because, as unfair as it is to say, I feel like it's easier even though in my heart, I know that's not necessarily true.
Some days I feel like I'm just existing, waiting for the next time to nurse the baby because my life revolves around nursing her or pumping while. I'm away from her. I feel like I don't even know who I am. I love my baby more than I ever thought possible but sometimes I miss the old me. I miss being selfish and going out with my friends or just going out to eat with my husband without having to time everything out.. and then BOOM... here comes that "mom guilt" again.
I know I'm rambling.. I know this probably doesn't make sense. I'm not usually one to put this out there but I feel so alone and lost that I'm selfishly hoping someone out there is going through something similar.
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You're definitely not alone girl. A lot of mums feel this way. Sending you lots of love đź’ś
I literally just had one of those days where I felt like such a terrible mum.
You're definitely not alone- it's partly hormonal, partly an ingrained response to worry about what we could be doing better. No one is perfect - all we can do (and need to do) is be good enough.
Surround yourself with people who understand and can empathise. Talk to them if you can - I really struggle with this when I'm having a bad day. But my therapist encourages me to allow myself to feel the negative emotions- its okay to be sad or even angry sometimes (we as society prefer to hide these emotions and make them go away). It's an important part of emotional regulation that we can teach our children too.
But if you're finding most days you're feeling down, lonely, lacking energy, withdrawing etc, please seek help as that could indicate something else going on đź©·
You’re not alone in feeling this way! Just today I had a thought I had extreme guilt over thinking about what would life be like if I stayed single and didn’t have a baby. I think there’s space to be grateful and love your baby AND grieve and have all the other feelings that come with being a mom that aren’t talked about ❤️
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