How do you deal with other moms who don't want to be around THEIR OWN kids?

I nannied for a family, where Dad worked part-time and Mum didn’t work at all.
I worked 9-7 Monday to Friday. Then, they had babysitters over the weekend.
Mum would try her best to not spend anytime with her children. I remember her son shouting at the top of the stairs for her to read to him before bed… and she ignored him!
She also vacate the pool when the children would approach to join her.
Soon as I would walk through the door (not even putting my bag etc down), she would be like- Right, Kellie’s here, she’s in charge now and fucked off to ride her horse or do online shopping.
Why have THREE children if you’re going to be like that? It was so so sad…

How old are their kids? I think a mom to an infant would want to be around/out with them more vs a mom to a toddler

Infants are different to toddlers so guess it depends on the age. Now I don’t get it, I’m with my kids 24/7 but being with a 4 month old is much more enjoyable than a toddler. I love my kids dearly but I do not go anywhere for the sake of my toddler misbehaves every single time. On her own she’s lovely, she walks with me, talks as much as she can (she has needs) and is great to be around. But with my twins with me, she makes every second unbearable. So I really do think you need to look at it from both sides

I love my kids and took them everywhere with me as babies, but man my 5yo can be a handful. Being able to stick him on the bus at 8am and not see him again until 4pm has been an unexpected blessing.

When I first saw this I thought why’s it bother u what other moms do or don’t do? I suffer from depression and. A couple other things and there are days when I just need a break, I don’t have the luck of family tho so I usually hafta grin and bare it hubby works third shift so I’m basically a 45 year old single mom of twins and it gets to be a lot I’d love to catch a break

why does this bother you? have they made comments about you bringing your son too much or is it just a feeling? i think you’re jumping to a nasty conclusion by saying they don’t want to spend time with their kids. moms deserve me time too and maybe hanging out with you is them getting their me time. i don’t think they’re looking at you weird for bringing your son, i think they’re looking at you weird because they thought you guys were on the same page and it was probably gonna be just the mamas. maybe you should ask them directly.

The worst is that usually those people keep having kids 😅

Maybe she needs help, instead judging maybe she is depressed or even overwhelmed and just needs someone to say hey bitch are I ok and what can I do to help

I know I would kill to have a friend that had my back that way instead pppl wna judge when maybe yall need to be a bit more specific on is this moms day out or playdate with kids

Don’t deal with no body who don’t want to be around their own children but also see why maybe u could help her

I mind my business 🤷🏻‍♀️ . Kids are very overstimulating lol. Especially toddlers. In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to spend every second of everyday with your kid(s). In general, Of course you love them and take care of them, as it’s our responsibility. Needing a break or preferring to not bring your kids with you to every outing is okay, as long as they’re being safely taken care of while you’re away. At least to me.

I don’t hangout with people who don’t want to be around my baby. My mom always spent time with me as a child, we were besties (and still are). I’m doing the same for my daughter because I benefited greatly from that dynamic.

Find like minded friends or just know you have your priorities straight. My kid is always with me. I don't hang out with other mom's without her. We bring our kids and make it a play date.

your child is also 1 year old. Kind of adds to the point that she has an infant. A mom to a baby would definitely be with their child more than a mom to a small child or toddler.

it depends, some mom like me really value spending time with their kids. I think that is right and proper. Other mom's value spending time by themselves more. Different priorities. Which is cool if you can have a mutual respect for a mom with different priorities. But to shame another mom for how much time she is spending with her kid is not cool at all.

sounds like OP is doing the opposite too though. One thing being a mom has taught me is that you really just don’t know. Especially a mom to a kid that’s older than mine. I just keep my mouth shut lol. Life has a funny way of doing that

absolutely, but I think a parent to an infant doesn’t really have much of an opinion because they haven’t been there yet. I practiced attachment style parenting with my girl and breastfed until 3 and bedshared until 2.5 roughly. Now she’s with my mom almost every weekend and lives a life separate to mine. If we’re going out, she’s not coming unless it’s an event for kids or something I think she would like. I enjoy my time alone but make sure I make time for her too. But if somebody with a 4 month old felt a way about that I would say it matters 100%

I think if you only have a baby and spend time with your baby (as you should, because you literally have an infant) then maybe you don’t understand what it’s like to have older children who may not be easier to take out. It’s not so much about parenting styles as it is about different ages of kids require different levels of care/parenting. Idk how you misunderstood anything else I said but I don’t think you’re coming at me and I’m just having a conversation. You mentioned me lol

lmao I don’t know how to talk without over sharing. Sorry I gave you too much info. I’m neurodivergent 🤷🏾‍♀️