Angry frustrated tired please help
Hello everyone, first off let me say I apologize in advance if I am coming off as blunt, negative or rude. If you are sensitive, please do not read this post.
I am so tired. I feel like I’ve tried everything. I’ve purchased 3 sleeping guides, I’ve spoken to a sleep consultant and I am currently reading precious little sleep.
I am doing everything in all of these guides already.
We have a constant bedtime/nap time routine
I go based off my sons sleepy queues and not necessarily a specific amount of time. Yet for every single nap and every single night, my son cries and cries and cries and fights me for any kind of sleep.
As soon as we walk into our bedroom, and I start dimming the lights, he begins to cry
We get most of our calories during the day
I don’t sleep to feed
I put him down in his snoo drowsy but awake.
What am I doing wrong moms?
I feel my sanity slipping away slowly. I cry….a lot. Being a mom isn’t something I am enjoying. I hate myself for admitting this. I don’t have a village. My mother lives over 2 hours away and I see her maybe twice a month. I don’t have any friends in the area and my husband works full time.
I am currently speaking to a therapist but my son simply won’t sleep. Everything was great until a few weeks ago. Idk what to do. I refuse to do the cry it out method. My husband wants us to try because he sees that our son only falls asleep after 20-30 mins of screaming his head off.
He has acid reflux and is on medication so I don’t think it’s acid reflux anymore.
I don’t think it’s colic because honestly there doesn’t seem like anything is “wrong”
He is perfectly happy and content before naps or bedtime. He will fuss a little, rub his eyes, his eyebrows get pink so to me…he’s ready for a nap. I pick him up, we go upstairs and we go to war. Every single nap it’s war.
Wake windows vary from 1.5 hours to 2 hours. Bedtime is usually between 9pm-10pm. I tried 8pm and he had two false starts, woke up at 1am, 3am, 4am, 5am, and wide awake by 6am
Please please please help.
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Have you considered just...feeding to sleep until he's a bit older? I mean maybe that's dumb but it is honestly what we do
Thank you for the response Annie, the last two nights/days I have been so desperate, I’ve broken all of my “rules”
I feed to sleep twice last night and this morning, the first nap, was in an empty bed with no sheets or pillows with me. I got 50 mins.
Consider taking some contact naps with baby not necessarily in the room. Don't stress about a schedule just wait for him to get tired then hold him as he falls asleep. I wouldn't do this at night but during the day it seems to help to have a couple of contact naps. Babies have a hard time adjusting to not being part of you anymore. You can do this!
Following because my baby does the same thing! He will nap in the stroller and in the car though!
Honestly might have started sleep regression early! My bub was randomly crying more and fighting sleep at 3.2months. She did carry on crying on and off, refuse the boob…😰 however she was eventually consolable not too long per se. The next few weeks may be tough like the newborn stage but it will fly by. My bub is now settling back into how she was before, getting sleep pattern back yet the only thing that remains is she’s really easily awoken by anythingggg
I feel like what I have to offer you’ve already tried but distracting my bub with toys and feeling textures really helped with breaking her out of crying. Tickling her face with my hair or shaking a rattle. Night walks or using the pram inside was the only thing that got her to sleep for a while there
My mum friend said you don’t have to listen to constant crying chuck some head phones on and keep holding them until you see them settle
If I find something that works I’ll let everyone know. Today I took him out for a walk and he fell asleep in the stroller for a whopping 22 mins. Now I’m sweaty, tired and he’s wired ☹️
I want to believe you are right about the sleep regression because honestly it makes zero sense. Before he was falling asleep in 5 mins. I would put the swaddle on and rock him to sleep like the perfect angel. Now it’s legitimately war. Every nap is a struggle, every night it’s 30 mins of crying before we get him down for the night.
Honestly, my first was like this. I think the "rules" are what stressed me out more. I finally started thinking that, he's a baby. He just feels things. Sadness, hunger, cold, lonely..happy. And I decided if he sleeps better with me he sleeps better with me and I started ignorning everyone's advice and following what worked for us to get the most sleep possible. None of it was worth us going crazy and losing our minds. Babies change so quickly you never know next month might be different.
My first was like this for the first 6 weeks. She would cry and cry and cry. She eventually grew out of it!
And then she started sleeping through the night at 13 weeks old and has been an amazing sleeper since then.
My second doesn’t cry but wakes up a lot.
Yet I did/do the same for both.
I think babies are different and you should probably quit reading what “it should be” and just DO YOU.
You are over stressing yourself.
Feed to sleep. Cuddle the heck out of him. Put the music loud and dance for all we care (yes my first used to fall asleep so good when I would hold her and dance looool) - just try out what you think is best
You are NOT a bad mom for not being able to put your kid to sleep. Society pressure is HELL.
It will pass! It will get better!
You are stronger than what you think!
Thank you Alexandra, I read this with tears running down my face as my soon has been crying for 20 mins no stop and I have no idea how to calm him
Baby wearing? Also ear plugs. Sometimes it can get so overstimulated and trigger fight or flight for me when my son just won’t stop crying.
Have you cleaned his nose well? Sounds stupid but when my baby has a clogged nose he won’t sleep. I put saline drops and use an electric nose sucker and he stops crying a few mins later
Oh also have you tried massaging lavender oil/chamomile oil on the feet? It helps
yes, I use the earthly magnesium balm and his little feet every night. Regarding his nose, he doesn’t sound congested at all. I do have saline drops and an electric nose sucker
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