in

Bradford

Need some advice

Right so I'm struggling escape the life with my children's dad it's never been a healthy relationship and he doesn't have no respect for me doesn't treat me good nothing I just feel like I'm a slave slaving away everyday living my life for my kids thats all. 2 week ago I blocked him off everything and I was doing until he was bombarding me with calls telling he loves me he misses me and I bet I've got someone else which I haven't I just want to be with him anymore long story short I ended feelin so guilty when he turned up with flowers Friday night I let him in and give a chance because my 4 daughters were at my sisters for a sleepover but then Saturday I started feeling in my gut that it was all an act because next day he was back to trying to manipulating me into do what he wants how he wants to do it so told him to leave i know it's wrong for keep having in back I feel so stupid for letting myself down I hate myself I don't have noone that fully understands I feel so isolated I guess posting here is my last resort really because I don't what to do I've reported him in the past to police and each no further action even when in past I've had bruises from him but now it's not even physical anymore it's more emotional when I try stay strong to stay away and not give him to him he uses the kids against saying how I don't let him see his kids but I've said plenty of times pick them up and drop them off he knows full well he can do that but he won't because he won't have his kids on his own as he says it's too hard with them altogether then I start to feel so bad my girls don't see there dad so I let him go and it's just never ending cycle I can't seem get away from. I don't no what to do i feel like there's point in police because they'll just shrug me off like last time like I'm nothing i really don't no what to do anymore I feel so lost and helpless I'm trying to fake a smile everyday so my girls don't see struggling but inside I'm so hurt and destroyed.

Apparently because I want attention and love from him thats me wanting a fairytale life but all I've ever wanted is love respect and effort to work as a team but his way of think is me slave way without me getting to thank no shit for it it's so draining whole he sit there on phone all day everyday or out with his friends family everything or at work while I'm stuck being just a single mum to our kids we both was supposed to raise.

I just want to be able to be strong to keep away I feel like only way I could do that is move far away but I'm stuck where I am where he knows he can turn up anytime