in June 2025 Babies 🇬🇧

Need some advice

Hey everyone, I could really use some insight on this situation bc I can’t stop thinking about it and it’s driving me crazy. So I’m not due until June but me and my partner have discussed birth a few times and he says I do not get a say so in the fact he will have his mother there to watch me give birth. I am a very private person when it comes to my body and won’t even have my own family in the room during the birth so I get so upset at the thought of this woman I don’t even talk to because mind you ( she doesn’t even like me for being white) and watching my private parts and me in my most vulnerable state. I told him several times she can come in directly after when I’m cleaned up and covered but he gets super mad and says she has always been there to watch the births with his other two kids and previous partner. What should I do in this situation if when the time comes and I don’t want her there do you think it would be worth the fight and stress with my partner to have a nurse make her leave? Idk what to do but I DO NOT want her in there.

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Then you don’t have her in there. Its your body going through it not his? What he wants isnt an option in my opinion.

I’m so sorry to read this, from an outside point this is horrendous and I’m so sorry you’re being put through that. You absolutely have a say, it’s your body, your birth, it should be all in your control and how you feel! It’s upsetting to me that your partner isn’t being understanding of this and equally insane that his mum would just assume it’s going to be ok, even if you were on speaking terms! Xx

Do what is best for you my dear , it is your decision not his . He shouldn’t make you feel bad about anything , you should be in the most peaceful state of mind (whatever that is) to receive your baby and so you really do have the last say in this im afraid . Every person and situation is unique and there should be no comparison. I would also speak to your maternity nurse as she may be able to guide you can conduct it on the day should you not want to be fighting over this during the whole pregnancy?

Personally. I wouldn’t even bother arguing with him anymore for the sake of your own mental health but let your midwife know (privately) or on the day of birth strictly who you would like at your side. Mother in law and or partner will have to wait outside especially if it’s going to distress the mother to be which will only make the birth process more difficult. Advice would be to pray for clarification (if you’re religious) and do what’s best for you and weigh out the pros and cons of each answer. This is your time you need to do what’s best for you. Always

Your partner saying you do not get a say is very mad to me! In this instance, your thoughts and opinions are the only ones that matter. When he’s giving birth, he can choose who he wants in the room… Do whatever is right for *you*. I agree with the comment above; make sure you inform your midwife, or whoever can advocate for you, that you don’t want MIL in the room. That way you know it will be dealt with and you don’t need to stress about it. Be as strict as you need to be about protecting your peace. And you shouldn’t be made to feel bad about it! It’s quite literally something that affects yours and baby’s health x

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