Am I the stupid one?

I've been with my partner for 9 years.. 2 kids.. we broke up during for a couple of years, had another baby within that time frame, and are now making things work again.... When we were starting things up again I found out he was on dating websites, escort pages you name it, he looked at it. I told him if we're going to work again that I consider thst cheating and it needs to stop. He said he would. But then I found more a month or so after. He's been living with me again for the past 5 weeks, went out last weekend and was funny with me over the weekend, didn't really talk, no touchy touchy, and now he's gone back tog is mums for the rest of the week. He said there is no alterior motive. So am i being silly in thinking there is? He doesn't like to reassure me about things, he does hide his phone away, doesn't say who he is talking to or messaging, very hush hush about everything. His focus seems to be on his mates more then me, I pay for everything, currently completing a masters degree in which I have a deadline in 2 weeks, asked for his help and he has gone for the next week?... There is a lot more context to all of this, but I just feel like I'm either overthinking things way too much, or does it seem he could still be doing things he shouldn't be? He's not really given any reason for him not being here this week, especially the fact he's moved back in for the past 5 weeks now.... Rambling rant 🙈 all so petty stuff too.

Show your support

Sounds like he is up to no good. You’ve seen what he is up to and spoke to him about it too. Let him go.

You should have never got back with him. Ewww to a man that has to pay for sex 🤮 And to top it all off you’re paying for everything?? No, just no. Of course he’s still out there up to no good. Chuck this one back in the gutter. No good will ever come of it. For someone who is intelligent and has her own money, you are worthy of so much more than a scummy untrustworthy bloke like him.

I think you know the answer to your questions. You deserve someone who is able to give you reassurance and not have to question them. I'm sure you are way more intelligent than that. Don't allow some low life to bring you and the kids down.

Even if he's not still cheating, he absolutely is not committed to making this release work and he's a waste of your time. Just permanently end things.

You sound like a smart woman with a lot to offer. He sounds like someone with nothing to offer. Focus on your degree and don’t let this man drag you down

Know your self worth and stop going back to this man that clearly doesn't respect you! I know you might think it's better to try to make it work for your babies that you have together but it really isn't. A happy mama is what they need! Time to put yourself first ❤️

@Neena it constantly makes me feel sick. It's degrading to women and very disrespectful. He turned that round to being my fault that he paid for it too. 110 to be exact. This was also when he owed me money and he knew I was struggling financially looking after his kids and having a 3 month old baby (his baby). I am stupid aren't I 😅

@Emily the thought of him with another women, just .... I can't comprehend it, I don't want another women around my kids. But you are right, he doesn't show any respect for me. I deffinately want to be a happier mum for my kids!

@Ella exactly that, I don't think he's committed to me or us at all.

No you are not dumb! you being educated and independent does not make you b.s. proof. Men have a way of building you up or breaking you down. Dont allow him to use you. He the dad & he needs to stop dragging his feet. If he wants to play the field let him but do you and give yourself an opportunity to meet someone better.

A man worth your time is only going to have eyes for you and is going to want to see you succeed so he would be taking care of his own children more while you finish your degree. I completely understand trying to make it work with your kid’s father but it sounds like this is just as hard as coparenting to will be, might as well be happy on your side.

I'm a firm believer that when someone shows you who they are the first time (when it comes to cheating), believe them. He's living comfortably w/u paying for everything & not having to answer for, or take accountability for any of his actions. You need to leave. What if he gives you an STD? That's something you'd have to live with long after he's out of the picture because I'm assuming you'd at least leave him then. You also don't want him as an example of a relationship for your kids. If you have daughters, you don't want them to be a doormat for any man they meet. If you have sons, do you really want to see them treat your future DIL this way? I hope not. You're an intelligent woman who can find a man who will know you're worth all his love, time, & attention. And you know what? If you don't find someone, you don't need a man to prove your self worth. Again, you sound like you're a driven & motivated woman who might actually be better off on her own unless someone can prove they can meet you at your level.

Nope nope nope leave!!!! You don’t want your kids around someone like this I promise!!! He is all red flags

get rid !!

Get rid, up to no good and he doesn't respect you at all. Also he won't be able to go play happy families with another woman with your kids so don't worry about that. He would need to be with someone a certain amount of time before safely introducing them to the kids and he's still technically with you! By the time he does that you will be so so done n over it that aslong as its a safe consistent person you won't care about that side of things as he won't be important to you like that anymore.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌