Friendships and motherhood

I'm a first time mum, I have a best friend who is also a mum and has a baby 5 weeks older than my LO but not a first time mum as she has an older son. I'm just trying to navigate through this as I know friendships can change when having a child but didn't think a friendship would change when you both have children similar age. Bit of context, when we were on mat leave we were saying how great it will be when we have our babies and we could go out for walks and do all sorts together as we are both taking a year off. Since my baby shower she has made multiple excuses and cancelled last minute / not said yes to meeting up because of various reasons and then when that day comes she said oh yes can't come today cos baby slept bad or I feel shit and I'm not saying they're not legitimate reasons but she then never organises to meet up with me after she cancels (maybe she has once) my LO is 3 months and her LO is 4 months and in that time we have only met up once and in 3 months I'd say she's cancelled/made up an excuse in these 3 months. Maybe I'm asking for too much but I thought we would be meeting up at least every other week with our babies, maybe I'm asking for too much?? Also, she is meeting up with other friends / going out with partner at weekends, so it's not like she's not ready to go out into the world, also have offered to go to hers / she come to my house. Just want to know what people's opinions are?

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It’s hard having 2 kids. But you also wrote she’s going out with other friends so that’s hurtful. I’d just leave her to it. Let her come to you x

It may be that she can’t ‘fake’ it with you. Motherhood is hard and maybe she’s really struggling with it, especially with two. With her other friends she might be able to pretend like everything’s fine, but if you’re her best friend she might not be able to. But at the same time she doesn’t want to admit she’s struggling or break down to you. If she’s really your best friend I’d personally just have a conversation with her. Ask her if everything’s okay and let her know you’re feeling a bit let down. Communication is important in friendships too

@Roze didn't mention her eldest is now in school so she doesn't have both of them on week days, which I know doesn't make it any less tiring as I'm sure it is in the evenings and I I'm understanding with her not meeting me in half terms etc as I can imagine it's hard with 2. Thank you for the advice 😊

Reading the start of your post I was like that’s not a bad thing because I make those excuses 😂 sometimes you’re just so exhausted esp with a second kid added in there. But you’ve said she doesn’t make effort to reschedule and she’s going out with others so now I’m like it does sound like she’s being a bit off? I would maybe message her just saying something asking the lines of “hey how are you and baby/family? Just want to see if you want to catch up anytime soon?” Start like it’s a clean slate and If she’s doing the excuses and etc maybe then ask her if something is wrong or if she’s avoiding you or something? You’re best to just get it all out and then if it’s something that’s valid that she’s needing support for go from there xxx

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