Should I stay with him?
Show your support
If your friend sent you this post and it was her life, what would you tell her to do? My answer was no on the first line “he never wants to spend time with me” and it just snowballed and got worse and worse from there. When people show you who they are believe them. Everyone deserves someone who only has eyes for them and who consistently and actively works to make them happy. You DESERVE better and you are WORTH MORE than this “man” is giving you. As your child ages this will be their main example of a relationship if you stay. Is that what you want for your child? If your child sent you this post and it was about their life? What would you tell them?
Accidentally clicked yes … but definitely meant no
We did some couple counselling in the summer which I thought was helping but then I found all the porn and that he was following past girls he had slept with and liking all their recent thirst trap photos. Was so upset but thought we had worked hard on our relationship recently so forgave him. We then slept together (first time in ages a one off) after me forgiving him and of course that’s when I got pregnant and since then it’s gone down hill again as he has not been supporting me at all and basically told me I had to have an abortion. If we didn’t have our daughter I would have left him ages ago, but I’ve been really trying to make it work because of her. I’m scared of becoming a single mother and having to live back at my parents. I don’t know what to do in terms of all our things and how can I get a home for us if I’m only working part time and don’t earn enough to rent? I’m just so stuck on what to do x
I think you sadly just answered your own question. You said if we didn’t my daughter I would have left him. Don’t let the child be the reason why stay in an unhappy situation especially when he just made you have an abortion and didn’t even help you deal with the aftermath. I agree with Dana if people show you who they are believe them. It’s not always the words you need to listen to it’s the actions . I hope things get better! My inbox is open.
Not sure what the question is. The title or is it fixable. Sounds like you’re a married single mother. If he doesn’t help then you’re pouring into him. If his family are also shit toward you sounds like your married into a prison sentence. Work you way out asap and get to a happy place. You don’t deserve all of this on your plate and not having a safe comfort anywhere.
The way a man treats you when you’re having an abortion speaks volumes. He should have been by your side the whole time taking care of you. It’s a horrible thing to go through especially when you have a partner and they treat you like this. I think you deserve much better than this - you deserve to feel loved every day and respected, and this man isn’t giving you that by the sounds of it
No babes, please leave that man. You’ve put in a lot of effort for yall relationship. You’ve done what you can. You be proud of that and move on. Find solace in the fact that he’s a great father so even if y’all are split, your child still has great parents. Maybe yall can be friends in coparenting
I see so many women on here staying in these toxic, dead-in-the-water relationships simply because “he’s such a good dad”. But he’s not a good dad. He’s setting an appalling example for how to treat a partner. And the message you’re sending out is that you’re not worth better. But you are.
Sorry, I was reading this and accidentally clicked “yes”! Don’t know how to undo it. It doesn’t sound like you’re getting what you need from him to feel like you’re in a secure and supportive relationship, but I understand it’s really hard when kids are involved. Is he open to talking about some of these things? If he’s not willing to compromise or change behaviours I would just say, if you do/were to have a daughter would you want her to stay in a relationship like the one you’re in?