Are you a “let’s settle this now” or “let the time pass” person during disagreements in your relationship?
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I prefer to settle in moment but my husband needs to take some time to calm and regulate or else he says things he doesn’t mean. He needs to remove himself and calm down then always comes back to have conversation. Which is helping me learn to regulate as well. Learning that being heated in the moment isn’t helpful with communication and just adds fuel to fire. Sometimes I need reassurance that we will come back and repair, it’s usually only 15-30 mins before we resume.
Settle now. But understand some things take time to heal
We have a rule that I grew up on. We don't go to bed angry at each other. Whatever has happened needs to be resolved before bedtime.
It depends on if we can calm talk about it in the moment or not
Now
My husband and I have never had an argument yet, and we have been together for 7 years. Whenever one of us does something that the other finds upsetting/disrespectful/annoying, etc, we talk about it immediately, like quite literally the moment it happens. Unless obviously it's over text, then we talk about it when we're together. I think this is partly because he grew up in a super happy and mentally healthy home and I grew up in an extremely toxic environment, so he's just always done that with his family and I refuse to repeat habits of my family.
Both. I grew up in a very toxic environment so sometimes I have to take a moment to gather my thoughts and emotions so I don’t lash out because that comes natural to me. But it’s usually talked about same day or atleast the next. We don’t have a lot of arguments. Minor disagreements or like frustrations with the other. So 99.9% of the time it’s a normal convo like talking about a tv show we watched
I have to settle it now. If I have time, I’m going to stew and make it worse
Somewhere in between. We'll table something for a day or two and discuss it when it's less heated and we've both had time to think about things. I've dated "let's settle this now" guys before, and it was always explosive and not healthy. It really depends on the style of communication that works best for you and your partner.
Depends on the argument. If it’s a stupid big argument. But It won’t matter in 5 minutes. Time pass But if it’s not stupid and it’s gonna matter after 5 minutes. Settle now. Also depends on how heated both partners are and if there in the right state of mind to properly communicate civil.