Is 3-4 years gap between children too much?

My middle sister and I are 4 years apart and her and our baby sister are 4 years apart. They’re a lot closer than her with me because of likemindedness and difference in parenting. My parents were definitely a lot stricter with me growing up, but not so much with them. I matured a lot faster so I was years ahead of my own age. There are some factors that change closeness so as long as you are aware of that, I think it’ll be okay if you parent them not toooooo differently.

I have two children, my son is 10 just turned and my daughter is 10 weeks.
My son absolutely loves being a big brother and likes to help at every opportunity he can. Loves cuddling her and generally being around her.
I have no doubt that as she’s growing up he’ll adore spending time with her (even though shell do his head in getting into his things as he’s a teenager).

I have a sister 4 years younger than me and a brother who is 10 years younger than me and we’re all close. Growing up I loved spending time with my youngest brother doing kiddy things with him and as I got older taking him to the park etc. and my sister is my best friend.

Personally I don’t think any age gap is too big for your children to be close as siblings, it’s just different types of sibling relationships depending on age and it also depends on their personalities too. My friend has two children 2 years apart and literally all they do is fight constantly. It depends on the children

My daughter turned 4 a month after I had my second. This age gap is so perfect. My oldest started preschool a week after I had the baby so it was nice to be able to bond and rest with a newborn instead of chasing around two kids all day. Didn’t have to worry about two kids in diapers at the same time. And the biggest positive for me is that my oldest had time to be a baby and enjoy all the attention from her father and I for 4 years straight. They’re 5 & 1 now and love each other so much!

I also have 3 sisters and we’re all 3 years apart. We were really close growing up and even closer now that we’re all adults. 3-4 years really seems like such a happy-medium. Not too close together and not to far apart either.

My sister and I are 4 years apart and she’s one of my best friends!! I absolutely love her. We’re close enough in age to relate to each other but I’m old enough to give her guidance and advice. I think it’s the perfect age gap for siblings and it’s what my husband and I are aiming for with our kids!

From what I’ve read it’s ideal to have kids at least 3 years apart

My children are 3 years old and 6 weeks old I think it's a great age gap, I'd struggle with a closer age gap, 3 year old sleeps 12 hours at night and is fully potty trained day and night and she adores her baby brother and is really helpful, don't get me wrong it's still really hard some days with a toddler and a newborn but I'm sure it'll get easier it's just the lack of sleep for me atm. I also have a brother that's 18 months older and 4 years older and I've always been really close to my older brother even from a young age because he's so loving and we have so much in common, I speak to him a couple times a week and he comes to visit us a few times a month, whereas my brother that's closer in age I haven't seen or heard anything from him in months with that being said we where still really close when we where younger as we used hang out together. I don't think age gap matters

There's 10 years between my eldest brother, 10 years between my baby sister and 3 years with my other brother. Growing up I was closest to my brother 3 years closer but now I'm older I'm close with all, mostly with my little sister.
I think 3-4 years is a great gap x

I had cousin i grew up with as my sister. We have 3 years difference and it was a big gap when I was 14 and she only 11.. when in 20s you don't feel the gap. But for them to play better when little smaller gap is better. And as you say that getting pregnant could take time, you can just start now and it will happen when the right time comes 🥰

My sisters and I are all 6 years apart and close as anything, if anything there’s less fights as the older one feels they have more responsibility x

Me and my sister are 3 years apart and we’re close. Also my boys are 14 years apart

My oldest son born 19/02/2019 my little one born 20/11/2024 😃 both boys and nearly love each other…don’t worry mama ❤️

I always wanted to have two children with a three year gap however the universe had other plans! We had our little girl who is five now and are currently TTC with our second and have been trying for two years! I do wonder if time is running out… xx

My daughters are 4 years old and 10 months old 🙂

I think it depends on what you want. I am the first child and I am 6 years older than my brother, 8 years older than my other brother and 10 years older than my only sister. We are no where close in life. Cos they are still little kids. I basically treat them like I treat my kids lol.
My kids are 2 years apart and they will be able to share something growing up and in the future

My two boys will be 3 years apart pretty much exactly. I cant comment on how well it has worked yet because I'm still pregnant with my second and due soon. But there's no way I would have coped with the pregnancy when my first was younger and I do think he is a good age for having a sibling as he can do a lot of things independently and has more understanding of what's to come. Me and my sister are nearly 5 years apart and I will admit that when we were younger we didn't always get on and there was some distance between us but now we are older I don't even notice the age gap. There's no guarantee that siblings will get on well regardless of the age gap as sometimes it's just a difference in personality. So you have to do what's right for you. As well as other factors finances and other practicalities meant a 3 year age gap made sense for us.

I'm close to my brother who is 4 years older than me, and my sister who is 9 years older. Growing up I never wished that they were closer to my age.

There will be 4 years 4 months between my two. Kind of perfect as I’ll have a couple of months with them together and then he’ll start school.

My first daughter turned 4 one month after my second daughter was born. Now my second daughter just turned 1 and the 4 year old is about to turn 5 in February. So they have an almost 4 year age gap. My older daughter adores her little sister. And vice versa. It's super cute so far. My older daughter has been patiently waiting for her little sister to grow up enough to play with her though and they're just now hitting that point. She's a very, very extraverted kid though and always wants to be playing with someone. It would have been nice for her maybe if her little sister were a little bit closer development wise, but it's still sweet to have a sibling. A lot of people here are commenting about personalities and how much that goes into whether siblings bond well and I think that's very true too. I heard this was a great book for fostering friendship between siblings. I haven't finished it but I'm enjoying it so far!
https://a.co/d/5rzQ0lU

My daughter and son are 3.5 years apart and I personally love it. She’s more independent now and also loves to help. The only struggle right now is he’s in full blown toddler tornado mode and she is very particular about keeping her toys a certain way so that’s frustrating for her but this phase is short lived. She’s also in school a few days a week now so I’m getting to give the youngest some individual time that I was able to give my oldest instead of constantly shared time

Also important, I will say my husband and I put a LOT of conscious effort into making sure our first born didn't feel brushed aside when the new baby arrived and her whole first year of life which was super hard because once you have that baby the 3/4 year old who was the center of your universe and cute and babyish and was accustomed to having all your love suddenly seems so big and you gotta remind yourself they're still a little baby inside and not expect more than you should in terms of maturity. We made a point to not let her fall in the shadows of all the heavy responsibility of a newborn and to apologize after moments of frustration if she woke the baby or something which can make you crazy when you're sleep deprived and finally got the baby down. Just remember the older sibling is struggling inside adjusting to sharing your love and attention and act accordingly and that'll help them grow to love and not resent their new sibling.

Me and my youngest sibling have a huge gap, I’ll be 28 this year and he will be 13 so I don’t think any gap is too big lol

Me and my sister are 4 years apart and I think it’s perfect. I’m old enough to give advice to her but young enough to get her

I get on with my sister 4 year older the most x

I have this gap between my first two.
It was very manageable, aside from my son’s extreme jealousy and the adjustment period id say overall it was a very easy gap. The older one is potty trained so no diapers, usually sleeping through the night and fairly independent. Those things make it a lot easier.
One downside is they just now started playing together now that he’s 5.5yrs and she’s almost 2.. so it takes a while. I have a friend with kids who have a 2yr gap that started playing together much faster but a lot of other things seemed much more challenging.

My brother and I are 5, my sister and I are 7 years apart

My kids are 3 years apart and I think it was the perfect age gap for us! I’m the middle of two sisters with 3 years between me and my oldest/youngest and I’m super close with both. There’s about 5.5 years between my younger and oldest sister and they are close to.

I have an older brother who is almost 4 years older than me. We grew up really close. I have always believed it depends more on the personalities more so than the age difference

Age gap doesn’t matter imo if you’re worried about closeness with siblings. I’m not particularly close with any of my siblings and we have a 1.5 yr, 4 yr, and 8 yr age gap. We are just all very different people

Thank you everyone! I am the only child. It is so nice to hear from people who have this experience. My husband has a sister who is two years older than he is, and they were never that close. My 14 month baby is still not sleeping through the night (not even close). At least when I was pregnant with her I was very tired all the time, I cannot imagine being this sleep deprived and pregnant at the same time. I know it can take time when we start trying, but it can also happen fast. I think I will wait until the end of the year when hopefully my baby will be sleeping better.

My last two children are 10 years apart
My first two are 3 years apart and I’ve always wanted my kids close in age (2-3yrs gap) but life happened and my third came along 10 years later… now my daughter is just obsessed with him and he is very much obsessed with her at just 8 months lol

I have a 3 year age gap between my boys and it has its pros and cons. I wish they were 1-2 years apart. My older son really gets jealous and misses having my husband and I as his parents only.

go away scammer

I don’t think so! I feel as if it’s the perfect gap if you plan on having two kids!

My children are spread out and in different stages. They are very close and support each other without competing. They don't often fight but surprisingly play together often.

I think that’s the perfect gap. My son and my twins are 4 years apart. He’s getting more independent and loves to be helpful with his little sisters. I personally love the age gap.

There is 4 years between my eldest and middle, then 8 years between my middle and youngest, I am due a baby in July there will be 7 years between them, 19 years between my eldest and the baby 🤭