How do you respond when someone insults your child?

I’ve had a relative say my baby is fat, naughty and a madam. I drew a pic of my LO at the weekend and a different relative said you’ve made her look nicer than she is. I never know how to respond and end up saying she’s perfect to me and carrying on hurt and upset. Part of me feels I should do more as when my baby is older and understands I don’t want her to think mummy lets people put me down 😢 I’m fuming with them but they’re older women so I’ve bitten my tongue so far, plus I’m usually the type to never say anything and take a hit for an easy life but it’s not me now it’s my little girl.
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Those relatives would be dead to me. I'd tell them they're vile humans and keep my precious baby far away from their negative and nasty nonsense.

@Megan what is wrong with people? She’s 18months, I hate them for it x

Agreed, they would no longer see me or my child. If you're not comfortable with confrontation, I wouldn't even say anything, I'd just not see or communicate with them anymore

18 months and they’re saying things like that about her? Fuck no, they’d be cut off. She’s an innocent baby. Regardless of whether they’re older women, don’t let anyone put your baby down and don’t let your baby think that just because people are older that they can put her down because it’s not right!

I wouldn't say it about anyone's child regardless of an age so I'm unsure. I just think if they're able to speak so cruelly about an 18 month old then our lives will be better without them in it. I used to be so laid back and I'd just ignore things that upset me but now I've had my son im all about protecting our peace

I would stop biting my tongue. That’s why they do it. Old ladies are rude because they know no one will call them out on it. So stop being nice. Tell them if they have nothing nice to say then not to say anything at all. Ask them if they feel good bullying a baby. Tell them if they don’t stop with the nasty comments then they won’t have to worry about how baby looks because they won’t lay eyes on her again. You are right, you should do more. Protect your child.

That’s it isn’t it, it stops being me being nice and keeping the peace and becomes me being a shitty mum when I say nothing, you’re all right and deep down I’ve known that all along x

What is a madam? Did they say it exactly like that or could they have been joking? I only ask because sometimes I’ll call babies “chunky” but it’s not an insult. And sometimes I’ll call a kid “bad” but I don’t mean it in a bad way. It’s just a joke and observation, because toddlers can be menaces 🤣 But if you feel like they were definitely trying to insult child, I would keep her away from them and tell them how I feel. Unfortunately, older women have the need to say whatever they want to say but that ends now. I don’t tolerate disrespect, idc how old they are. You have to give respect to receive respect from me.

See I get that and she’s a little monkey and that’s expected at her age but this relative has suggested smacking her, it’s not a joke unfortunately. With who it is I’ve tried really hard to say my opinion and not get into an argument out of respect but I’m at a point now where I’m remembering hearing similar about myself as a kid and I know how it slowly chips away at self esteem. My little girl deserves better.

Nah I’d be starting arguments at that point they can go fuck themselves. Don’t bite your tongue because of age or family, put your foot down for not only your daughter but yourself as well ❤️

My kids don’t go around certain family members regularly because of this so that’s how I deal with it since I’m very sensitive to it . & in my position it’s never done in a way to where they’re scolding my kids it’s said rather playfully / endearingly -but still I don’t like it and I’m not about to try to get my older aunts to try to change their behavior

"My drawing makes people look better than they are? I'll be sure to draw the picture we use at your funeral then" What nasty old cows. Don't bite your tongue! And don't bite your tongue when they speak badly on you either, you don't deserve it, and if your child sees that she will think it's okay for people to say bad things about her too.

Luckily the family I DO have contact with would never say that, but if they did then they would be added to the “no contact” family list I have or slapped depending on if it was in person. I’m not above slapping family when they deserve it, if that makes me a bad person… so be it 🤷‍♀️ I was a people pleaser too much and definitely changed lately

Why does it matter if they’re olde? Fuck them. I would say age didn’t make you wiser

Hit em with the ole.. ‘what an odd thing to say out loud’.. or ask them to repeat themselves .. maybe that’ll help them realize how RUDE and inappropriate they are being. Don’t ever be afraid to stand up for your child/baby

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@Tiffany that’s a good one to have ready actually. With it being her grandmas and obvs one being my mum I’m just having to go against all my inner programming to disagree with her but I have to for my little one or I suspect it’ll continue and I don’t want the little put downs for her

I get it.. I think a lot of us were brought up to ‘people please’.. and while it has some good bases (being respectful).. that doesn’t mean we have to be nice to people who are purposely saying MEAN things. Especially about a child. Uncalled for and unnecessary and they deserved to be called out for their bully behavior. Being old and a mother figure doesn’t excuse it and they need to do better

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