4 year old boy chooses to wear a dress while playing in school, as a teacher are you supposed to tell them it’s okay dresses are for boys and girls? 🧐

I think the teacher should be impartial, to neither discourage or encourage unless pressed. If pressed, say it’s whatever the child wants. As a parent, I think the same it should be up to the child as long as they’re happy, healthy, and safe.

I was a teacher for a long time with classes of 4-5y olds.
Dressing up is just that. Costumes, uniforms and props that help us to pretend to be someone we aren’t as part of imaginative play and role playing. I would never have enforced a gender related boundary in play within my classroom. The dressing up corner or role play area is for everyone. The clothes are for everyone. It’s not that deep.

The child is PLAYING. Let them play.

I was referring to the parent of another child

It would be interesting to notice if he acts differently in a dress. At 4, play is play. But see the episode on gender dysphoria in older kids with pediatrician Julia Mason on Conversation Balloons podcast.

there’s no mention of punishment here or saying girls roles are beneath them I’m confused.

Teachers should be impartial and not force any rules like this on children. They shouldn’t be separated with the girls on what activities they do but also shouldn’t be actively trying to get them to participate if they aren’t interested.

To me, it’s not a good thing if a parent is telling a teacher to treat that child differently than the other kids

I wouldn’t encourage or discourage but if a parent told me to discourage their child from playing with different toys I would tell them “it’s not my place to intervene on safe play and limit them from playing with any of the toys in our class”. If they want to tell their son they’re not allowed to dress up that’s on them not me

I agree with the teacher should remain impartial.

Girls can generally dress up as anything what they want be, why can't it be the same for boys?🤷🏼‍♀️

The teacher should say "at daycare, we make dress ups available for all children. We would not restrict a child from wearing them on parental request unless there was a genuine safety reason. However all our dress ups are free from any choking risks so I am not aware of any safety risks that could be identified".

Encourage absolutely! It’s a dress & that is all

At 4 yo it is just play, there is nothing to correct or encourage.

What would make it difficult is other children criticising the boy who chose a dress. In that case the teacher should interfere to stop the shaming.

I’m not okay with my son cross dressing so

Let kids be kids

The idea that some of you consider a 4 year old playing dress up as ‘cross dressing’ is wild and you should have a word with yourselves! He’s 4! It ain’t that deep he’s just playing, I’m way more concerned about you instilling toxic masculinity into him at such a young age!

I’ve been in many kinder classes as a teacher over the years and just have never had to deal with dress up ever …that wasn’t a thing but if it was I would let the kids do what they do or would follow whatever protocol is outlined for me as an instructor however if a parent wasn’t okay with something occurring during dress up I’d likely not allow it to occur for their child specifically since there are alternatives . I would also maybe seek out advice from my hire up on how to manage the situation but I can’t imagine that a principal would go against a parents request for something as trivial as this to not occur.

i work in education and we have dress up in our classroom. my student last year (little boy) absolutely loved the dresses and tiaras and all the dolls in the room bc he’s really into playing with hair. we would never discourage him from playing and exploring different toys. if the parents had an issue with it then they could handle that at home. i’m not going to tell one kid he can’t do something bc he’s not going to understand why his parents said no but his other friends are allowed to.

No fun allowed during playtime!
(Joking)

The teachers opinion is so incredibly irrelevant and I’d be wildly offended if you told my child anything about it in either direction. That’s not their place. As a parent… that’s your personal decision, I might disagree with it and encourage you to think of dress up as simply pretend play and not about the dress at all, but that’s your choice.

Although if the teacher has like 15 kids to watch, it’s unreasonable to expect them to enforce your personal gender boundary for one kid, single them out and make them feel out of place when everyone is playing. If you feel that strongly, homeschool your kids.

thank you for this response. Perfect

did you read the question properly? The teacher said dresses are for boys AND girls. It was a dressing up corner
There’s no other boy In class putting on a dress so if the child is being laughed at then what

As a former preschool teacher I can say little boys have asked me to put dresses on them and I’ve watched boys (including my nephew) play in girly costumes at school but they weren’t pretending to be princesses or ladies, they were usually super heroes and of course while I’m at work I wouldn’t judge a child for the way that they choose to play. It’s more so observing and playing along if they ask. But they were 5 and younger kids.

the boy child is the only boy putting on a dress. The boy was told by the teacher dresses are for boys and girls
The boy is also the only boy who puts on a dress
At the age of 4 I know they’re just playing but

Of course the dress up clothes are for boys and girls, regardless of what they are they are for everyone. Are you telling the girls they can’t wear the spiderman costume or the spacesuit??
If other children were laughing (I highly doubt at age 4 because they haven’t learnt from some of the people here to be complete dicks yet) then I would expect the teacher to explain that it’s wrong to laugh at people and nip and potential bullying in the bud - that’s a them problem not this boys problem

Yeah I did read it properly. Don’t think my response indicates that I didn’t.
I’d be very concerned if I lived in an area where 4 year olds are laughing at a boy playing dress up

I told my sons school he is not allowed to wear princess dresses under any circumstance, but he can play with dolly's as he's going to grow up to be a father & it's practise

Would you be ok with a girl being told she can’t put on a firefighter costume because pants are for boys?

It’s dress up. It’s a part of child development. It’s not the teachers place to enforce her opinions, and again, if the parents want to inflict gender roles on their preschoolers, they should home school. The teacher has numerous children to deal with and expecting her to single out one child infront of all the other children and tell them they can’t do something but Johnny over there can is cruel and shouldn’t be expected of them.

There shouldn't be an issue with a little boy putting on a dress. Mine both did when they were younger because they were often more colourful and moved nicer than the boys dress up stuff.

If you're offended or upset over a bit of material, I feel like you need to take a step back and have a rethink...

Think you should just not say anything. It’s not that deep at 4

He sees it as a dress. It’s a dress he is not saying he’s pretending. He’s saying he was wearing a dress because they are for boys and girls. Which I just feel wasn’t explained properly

As a parent id instruct the teacher to not encourage this, by trying to destract with other options or toys, but when it comes to the whys and how comes , id instruct the teacher to direct my child to me for the answers.

I don’t think they should encourage specificity but also not discourage as they’re just playing and saying something could damage their confidence. If a boy asked me to put a dress on them I’d just put it on them.
If you asked a preschool not to let your son wear dresses they’re more than likely to tell you they are allowed to wear what they want when playing.