Big question

My husband and I have had a rough couples years. I’ve posted before. I filed for divorce last year after he repeatedly threatened to take our kids from me out of state. We are now working on things. I’m reading books and the Bible, in counseling and back in church. He’s in counseling and we’re doing marriage counseling. The marriage counselor told us we’re at a place where we only have a few options. He’s stuck on wanting to move our family away from the state we grew up in to a cheaper place and I’m refusing to go. Short version: last time he lost his job he took a job in a new state despite knowing I didn’t want him to and tried to force me to leave or he’d divorce me and take the kids so I couldn’t see them anymore. I’ve told him I won’t move across the country until he’s supportive and I feel safe with him. (Lots of emotional abuse and in isolation I believed I was a horrible person responsible for his unhappiness, our financial insecurity and more). Counselor says we have 3 choices: 1. Keep fighting nonstop and be unhappy 2. One of us let it go and be ok with what the other wants 3. End our relationship. I don’t believe in divorce and I almost feel like it’s the easy way out for me right now but I’m so tired. My husband claims he’s working on things but then comes to me and says he’s decided with his counselor I’m the cause of all his problems and he’s a victim. He keeps saying I need to change and do what he wants. Part of me says ok I can. But I’m scared. He’s a bully to me and my kids. Without support from my family and friends I’m scared I’ll be unable to stand up to him when he’s yelling at me or my children. I know God made him and I do love him. I’m torn bc he had work to do but is refusing to. It’s damaging all of our lives and impacting our children too. Any Bible passages or advice? Any thoughts or prayers? Anything would be helpful. This is emotionally draining on top of a child with special needs and I feel God calling me to be active in the church and community but feel worthless and embarrassed of myself when I’m with him.

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I’m sorry you’re going through this. But out of all of this, are you guys seeking God? What is God saying? How is God leading you and Him? I don’t have much advice to give and that’s because GOD only knows the plans He has for you and what His will is for your life. So seek Him. Fast and pray and ask God what it is that you’re supposed to do. If you can fast with your husband, do so. If you both have the Holy Spirit (which I’m assuming you do) then the Holy Spirit Will give you both clarity, direction, say who’s right who’s wrong, what needs to be changed, what decisions needs to be made and get you both there. But at the very least, it’s God you should be seeking cause at the end of the day, you want to do HIS will.

Thank you for your advice. I have been praying to God. I feel like he’s leading me away from my husband. I feel like I need to make some distance so my husband can grow closer to God and ask God to do his work within him. It’s so hard to know for sure if this is God’s will or not. I will try fasting as well.

Seek God on it. God will tell you and give you clarity. Dive deeper into the word to hear from God and yes fasting definitely helps hear His voice better and get direction. Praying things get better for you guys 🙏🏾

Thank you Wis. I’ve been praying over things, reading devotional and opened an old book. Came across this and know God is speaking to me. God will often guide us with feelings of peace or conviction in our spirits, which can be useful in directing our next steps towards obedience. But the filter of his word must still remain our plumb line of truth. where his feelings and his words do not align we must trust his word, which does not change not our feelings, which are always subject to change. First, John3:20 says, even if we feel guilty God is greater than our feelings and he knows everything.

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