Struggling to make genuine female friendships.

It's common. Girls get jealous and bond over not liking eachother. Sometimes women let there own internalized misogyny get the best of em we are all a little guilty of it. But don't let them pick me ass moms hurt your feelings. Never let a women or man shame you for doing something for yourself because they are not willing to do it for themselves You are more than just a mom! ♥️

I think its got more to how you present yourself than your natural beauty. If you dress down a little, no flashy make up jewelry or nails and simple hair try that see if it makes a difference especially among new mums as most people can't cope with a complex beauty regime with young kids and they may think you're shallow if it looks like you spent ages doing make up with a young child. Maybe your child is super easy going and doesn't mind hanging by themselves for 1 hour but most dont! It's also normal for circle to grow smaller provably has absolutely nothing to do with you and more to do with them withdrawing as they can't cope with other responsibilities and no free time

But also if someone ditches you clearly and abruptly upon your good news then that's a red flag of jealousy and you're better off without them so don't mourn it! I do think the real test of friendship is seeing who is there for you in hard times and who is there to pop the champagne with you too

Misery loves company. Unfortunately, it's not something they do on purpose. It's something they struggle with, and you are just a reminder that it's easier for others. They resent you unconsciously. Whether you're skinny, have pretty hair, nice skin, or an upbeat personality. There are women who aren't like that, and some are not very attractive, but it's all about confidence, really. You need confident friends 🧡 Women who are content in their own skin and happy with their personality. I've had "friends" who take jabs at me, try and belittle me, and use me as a doormat and get quite the surprise when I don't allow it. I actually like having a smaller circle. You don't need 10 friends if 9 of them suck. I'll take the 1 all day over the fake ones.

@Hannah well said! I literally have two friends. One is my cousins fiance we've gotten close over the last two years The other my dearest Abi has seen me through it ALL over the last decade+ ! I wouldn't trade our friendship for not a single thing. And because our friendship is this way I'm okay with it just being her!

@Mira ⭐🍓🧸🌹 yes I find it unfair because when they are going through rough times I was there for them and when they have something good going on their lives I was there to celebrate and clap for them. But when it was my time, poof they’re gone

I have no village, lost both parents but manage my time as well as I can, I am getting my third degree in a month and I got a 1st class all through. My son is super advanced in everything because I spend time to connect and teach him. I started my YouTube channel and I do wear a little make-up when I go out, it takes 10min. Some people cannot stand this. They prefer to see you miserable and unkept. Yes I am attractive but I care about my mental and inner wellbeing over physical. Find people like you and you will find a great friend. You cannot help how people see you or perceive themselves. Go with people who have the same values as you. I am always nice and respectful to everyone but some people will hate you for it because they can’t stand that you excel in everything. Misery loves company

@Brianne thank you! When I'm depressed it's my flashy, fashionista, makeup loving sister I want to be around because her confidence is contagious 💖 and she'll usually dress me up or do my makeup and it's like being kids again playing in our mom's closet. Everyone is different. Some friends just need a good book and a nice comfy spot on the couch to feel better, and others need a shopping trip. Ya gotta find your circle and appreciate what each friend brings to your life. I think Sex in the City is a good representation of that.

@Alex some of them are single. No kids and not in a romantic relationship. I honestly don’t really dress flashy or putting so much make up on specially now that i’m a mom that I don’t have much time to get ready, but also me myself, won’t hate or judge other moms for dressing up. And yes some of them just slowly disappeared . tho I reached out couple of times but I got cold responses from them so I stopped trying.

Honestly, I don't mind people underestimating prettier people bc the shock on their face when they realize you're not a bimbo is the best! Lol 😆 I think Marilyn Monroe said it in a movie once. The man asked if she was a gold digger, and she replied, "Wouldn't you want your daughter to marry well? That a man wants a pretty woman and a woman wants a man who can provide," and his eyes go wide saying, "Hey! They told me you were dumb!" Lol 😆

@Hannah exactly this!! Yes I feel like they resent me for what I have. When I got engaged to my now husband, 2 of my ex girlfriends were in a serious relationship and I was the first one that got engaged in our circle, and when I broke the news to them they were salty about it, til they had a chance to unfriended me when I moved to a different country. You’re right, I need confident friends in my life 🥹

And if people are being an ass to you cause of how you look take comfort in knowing you can change how you look they will always be an ass 💁

I'm so sorry, hun! Some people are just like that. They hate that you have what they don't. The sad part is they don't even think they are the problem. They make up some bs reason as to why you are the problem or reason for not wanting to be friends. Think of it like kids on the playground, and you have a toy, and they don't, so they either try and steal it or throw a massive fit. We've all been jealous of something someone has or has achieved but it doesn't make me feel anything bad towards them, I'm actually super happy for them and just use that jealousy as a motivation to achieve the same. It's healthy "competition." I will usually ask them for help, and good friends will help you. Jealousy is normal. It's how you let it affect you that shows your true character.

@Mira ⭐🍓🧸🌹 haha love this!

@Hannah I agree, and you’re right we’ve all been jealous at some point of our lives, but I’ve never been so jealous to a person that I hated them, I always take it as an inspiration to be better.

@Hannah i love your examples! Hehe always on point 🩷

@Piehontas right? I also get dressed up sometimes because It’s for my own mental health not make other people miserable. 😩 so sad that other people perceive it differently.

tbh people removing themselves is doing you the favor. at least that’s how i look at it. anyone that’s left isn’t a life id want to lead or be apart of. it’s a lonely journey BUT when i started focusing in on what i want out of life and the things i find joy in, gradually but surely the right people came / are coming into place. and now when i meet new people i can tell right away if this is someone that i genuinely align with. and it’s nothing personal on them, they could be a great person just not for me 😊

I've never experienced this. I'm pretty, but maybe not pretty enough 😂

@Cam that is true!!! I only have my baby and my husband and 1 good girl friend. Haha! Probably because I didn’t have boundaries and kinda people please back then and not choosing my friends wisely.

Iv been told I'm unapproachable pretty lol most of the friends Iv made even in school said they thought I was a bitch until they got to know me (even though I'd never spoke to them) 😂😂 maybe that's what it is

You just have to be you…it’s hard to find real friends that got your back anyway…even if the friend is just as attractive as you she still can be jealous of something you have…you need a friend that is humble and sees you for who you are and not what you have and she will celebrate you and your successes every time because that is real love because she truly loves herself…it’s ok to have a small circle of friends even if it’s just 1 or 2 friends but at least they are real 💯

I have found my real friends over the years that have stuck by me, are the ones similar to me in personality and interests. If I look at each of my gfs they have a radiating confidence, an aura, they are secure in themselves they don’t have any anxiety and they have an IDGAF attitude in life and towards people. Both of my besties are considered larger girls but they do their makeup immaculate and dress for their body type and they dress confidently, that’s why one of the peanut question is “who do you admire” and my answer is confident mums/women because they are the ones who don’t get insecure or jealous of what we have, rather we just work harder to strive what we don’t have, we manifest it. Envy is different to jealousy. You can still envy a friend and see her as inspiration, strive to be more like her. But jealousy, jealousy shows in comments and behaviour in negativity and toxicity and pettiness and that will always dampen a good friendship. Find mums who is more like yourself.

I don’t think it’s due to your attractiveness, but I’m an introvert maybe I’m wrong. People drift apart it’s natural. Different lifestyles, moving, different needs, time constraints, etc. The majority of people want to have friends in similar situations as themselves to relate to them. For example a college student with no significant other, and no kids isn’t going to want to be around a stay-at-home mom. The lifestyle is just too different.

Can’t really speak to having female friends. Most of them I’ve lost due to cattiness. I’ve actually had friends try to steal bfs or ruin them. Not sure why. I have 2 best friends that are male and they have stuck through it all. Even came to visit me after my babies when I was in the hospital.