Why do ladies match with you then ignore your messages?

This app be matching me with people when I didn’t even use the feature. I wouldn’t take it personally.

@Asia how do you know you matched with someone if you don’t use the feature? You have ppl in your friends list you don’t recognize?

Anyway it’s sooo hard making friends. Women say they wanna make friends but then there’s no effort. I give up 😂

They just show up in my messages, as if I swiped on them idk.

@Asia oh I think someone just messaged you wanting to talk. You don’t have to be matched for someone to reach out to you!

I understand how you feel tho. I stopped responding to people when it’s always wyd?, trauma dumping, and only contacting me when they want advice. It’s tiring. I want to be able to text and be able to call/ft when our schedules allow us to & be allowed to be myself. Females are really weird on here 🙄

I have had this happen quite often than none. They would reach out to me and I would respond. A month will go by. There are some people that are just not on this app alot.

@Sarah I get that. We are moms and get busy etc. sometimes we are also just here to scroll and waste time and don’t have the time or energy to hold a conversation. I’m specifically talking about women who are clearly active multiple days in a row and don’t respond.

I do this. Because my brain is trained to look for notifications at the top of the app. Then I randomly am like... crap, look down there... I have 5 messages I missed from 3 weeks ago. It's literally the UI of the app for me.

Oh yeah I have had that. I seen that they read it and they are posting saying that they are looking for friends. And then a week later they would respond. At that point, I just stop responding. Clearly these people are just bored and don’t want a friendship.

Wait….you might be talking about me…or was. I should change my profile so ladies don’t think I’m hunting for a bestie. I was…am hunting for a bestie but doing it in the DM is not it. I have encountered a lot of weird scams, profiles that don’t feel real and some really fucked up comments sent to me (like why I have a white husband). Oh and I had a women who kept wanting to schedule hang out (about 10 times) and every time something came up. So, I said “yah….this ain’t it” and…….I realized this app is only for fun. I’m done trying to make besties on it because maybe it’s only me but I get some weird shit thrown my way. So, if you’re actually talking to me through this post incognito: girl I’m sorry. If not…still I’m sorry you’re not having any luck.

We are all women . So used to playing hard to get and ignoring men . This is like tinder for women . We are all sceptical of each other. Sometimes it's just as small as how you greet them puts them off . Or they forget to respond , then too much time passes and then they think. "Well it's too late now " Ps . It's never too late . I understand. I'm a woman too.

Or it's pictures 👀✨🤌🤔✍️ but if they actually take a deep dive then will see I'm actually a cool ass mom 😅🤝

@S. annalese haha it’s not you! This actually happened to me twice by two different ladies within the last few days. I was really excited to connect because they’re in my area and I have no friends here yet since I’ve recently moved here but they both ghosted me so..😂

@Cher 🧖🏾‍♀️🏋🏿‍♀️🎧 ohh interesting 😩

Majority of the time I think it's how you greet them though . I share a compliment or highlight something we have in common . But I think the cat puts them off. However ... Ironically I think an actual picture of myself paired with my personality would put them off even more. Either way you will connect with someone eventually. Currently seeing 3 women ATM 🤌✨🥳

Unfortunately, there are so many scammers on here…I ignore most of the messages I get. I have repeatedly gotten messages with the same pictures from multiple different profiles. It’s sometimes work to find out if the person is legit or not. I probably get in my own way with making friends. 🤷‍♀️

@Cher 🧖🏾‍♀️🏋🏿‍♀️🎧 I love the memes, the cat and chihuahua pic represents my personality 😂❤️

@Kim I get that but do you use the swipe feature then ignore all messages ?

I really haven’t used the swipe feature intentionally in a long time. When I first started using Peanut I used to wave to people.

I literally just responded to like 15 messages because I don’t use the app consistently and I get overwhelmed by lots of messages 😭 I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt anyone’s feelings I’m just a disorganized person 😂

They probably swiped by accident 😂

Also what is a friends list? I've never seen a friends list on this app

@Ella that’ll probably make me feel even worse than them unintentionally ignore my messages!

@Ella if you press your photo on the left side of the app you see your “connections” at the bottom

Yeah that’s me and it’s because I’m tired

Ive just gone through a period of not answering people. And it's just been too much on my plate. I have been alone with 2 under 2. Little one basically having colic, all 3 of us constantly having colds with fever, my husband not being allowed in the country. It is not easy for me to socialise so I struggle to chat at the best of time. I did have a few messages in the last few months which I just didn't reply too. I meant to, it never happened. I finally feel like I am getting to a point where things are calmer. My husband has his visa, my oldest has started nursery. I've rested and mentally caught up. I think I might start to use this app for connecting again soon. If people don't answer me I will assume it is for similar reasons 😅

Keep trying. It’s a numbers game. Out of 10 women I swipe and msg (because I always send a msg BEFORE I swipe) only maybe 5 will reply and out of that I’ll move maybe 2 off the app onto my SM and out of that I’ll meet 1. Lol. So many women have given up after being on here for months w no success and now have a “F it whatever” attitude to peanut and don’t really use it anymore, and then the others we do chat to have social anxiety and only want an online friend and weary to meet lol. But if you keep trying you’ll click with that one or 2 and meet that 1 or 2. At this stage I’ve found amazing girls and the app has done what I originally came on for but it took me 6m to get my first meet, to finally find someone w no social anxiety like me. And say something interesting to catch their attention and they can reply to, instead of just a HI! Any convos that do happen move it off, I like snap for that but IG is good too, we get to see each others lives by swapping IG/FB

That's interesting, I always thought you had to pay for Peanut Plus if you want to see who swiped you

It is weird sometimes isn't it! I've had a few people message me, we'll exchange messages for a few days and it's going well, then it just stops lol.