I think I’m really depressed
I think I might need more than just counselling. I feel like my life isn’t in my control anymore, at all. I feel like I’m paying my counsellor to be a listening ear because no one else wants to listen to what I have to say. My husband is tired of hearing me say how I feel and gets angry at me. If I tell someone from back home, they just tell me to leave then. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I just wait for nap time so I can waste time sleeping and get the day over with. I go to bed early for the same reason. I’m not interested in anything I use to enjoy anymore. Books, exercise, crafts, movies. I scroll mindlessly on my phone, checking nonesense emails and ads on fb instead of being present with my daughter. I don’t remember the last time I felt happy. I haven’t left the house in weeks and no one has noticed. I hate talking on the phone to family members and having them ask the same questions. It’s mind numbing. I feel like my daughter is very bored of me.
Being a mother is not easy and it's normal to have bad periods but it sounds like you are depressed. Maybe you need additional support from a psychologist or psychiatrist if your counsellor and husband are not offering enough. It's good that you're not ignoring these symptoms, and it's brave to vocalize your needs! Things will get better even it's it's hard to see right now. But it sounds like you need to make some changes! Sorry you're going though such a hard time! 💕