Newborn and toddler guilt
I have a 5.5week old and a 16month old and feel so much guilt for the following reasons. My eldest is in nursery some of the time so I am fortunate enough to get some rest.
1. I sleep when the newborn sleeps as much as I can because I’m so fatigued but worry when they’re awake that I’m not getting in enough face to face time. I do take time to use flash cards, sing, do tummy time each day, but then there’s times e.g. now where I’ve taken 10min to have a bath (my first since giving birth) because I just needed to feel good and they’re on a play mat next to me. Or where I’m holding him but having to look and talk to my toddler etc. so I worry I’m not doing enough for him
2. We’ve spent overnights in hospital each week since he’s been born and again I’ve had to be limited in holding him except to breastfeed and it’s been such a worry time which hasn’t helped my exhaustion
3. I can’t pick him up as quickly as I would like sometimes because I’m dealing with my eldest and vice versa feel guilty on my eldest when I can’t see to him quickly
I’m not sure what I want from this post, maybe solidarity if anyone else is in the same boat, or a nudge if I should start doing more face to face and lessen my other tasks 😭
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I have a 2 week old and a 2 year old.. my eldest is not adapting well to new baby at all! Its so horrible. Praying this gets better 🙏🏻
I feel the exact same guilt with my 15month old when both her and baby (6weeks) need me at the same time But I read a tip that aslong as baby is safe then to see to older child first and tell the baby “mummy will come to you in a minute I’m helping ‘eldest’ first” This helps the eldest to understand that they’re not being pushed aside etc If you have to see to baby first try getting eldest involved if it helps to calm them and if they understand etc
I have a 2 week old and a 23 month old and understand how you feel, it's so hard and the mum guilt on both is awful. But you got this and just keep doing your best :)