WWYD Would you stay friends or ghost off ?

I would just suggest “mommy & kid play date”

I agree with @Andria. Why do you get a bad vibe the husband? Or like, what sort of bad vibe?

It's not really fair if your husband is there, but she's not allowed to have hers there. Either you all meet up or neither of your husbands are there.

Me personally I wouldn’t befriend someone who gotta problem with my man. What are the weird vibes y’all get? Just be straight up about it and don’t beat around the bush. “I don’t like your husband I would like for play dates to just involve us and the kids. If it makes you more comfortable I won’t bring my husband either.” Simple. However idk why you would even want to form a relationship with someone who you don’t even like their spouse.

@Rachel this!!! If it’s just mommy and kid then your husband needs to stay home as well

@Andria I have once or twice but she’s so insistent it’s if I don’t ask, he’s included

I like that keep trying has a question mark. Idk. I feel like if you say something's the friendship will end anyways. I'm in a similar situation.. long story short, my bff is with a new guy. They live together so it's serious. I used to hang out with her and her ex together. We were all friends for like 7 years. She brings her guy EVERY time we hang out and like I don't want him there all the time. It was a little awkward at first because her ex told her I didn't like him. So I hung out with him to get a report.. well now it's like "leave us alone man."

@Charlie as him and my man were meeting, apparently he checked me out which made him uncomfortable and she’s told me has had issues with infidelity often. I didn’t see it but I trust him also I would understand other way if he had a friend who’s wife was checking him out, had infidelity issues and you didn’t know the wife at all, you know what I mean

@Rachel well my man was there once when he wasn’t but didn’t talk to her just grilled and was with the kids. He hasn’t been around since, he would work. So he doesn’t feel comfortable with another man who he saw checking me out, and has those issues being around without him type of deal

@Rachel it’s not my husband is here when he’s not, it’s like I’ll say it’s just me and she’s automatically okay we’re all coming over even tho I’ve asked couple times just us 🤷🏻‍♀️ tired of trying to hint because I can’t be straight up why we don’t want him over

@Laney we can’t go out so she comes here but he’s only been around her few times yet she will insist her man come over even when I say mine isn’t!

It doesn't matter in what capacity your husband was there. He shouldn't have been there if her husband wasn't there. Like I said, you either all meet up together, or neither of you have your partners there. That way it is fair.

@Eviee we didn’t meet everyone at first, I didn’t know her man. It was just her and her son which we had been talking for months she was cool, only mom I felt could be a good friend then I met her husband sometimes you just don’t like people tho I don’t see why me not knowing her husband, meeting him then not liking him is a problem. I’ve asked just us more than once, I let her know my man isn’t home and she’ll say okay ___’s off we’ll all come over like come on wouldn’t you get a hint just bring yourself and your kid? Especially when the last times I’ve asked

Some people you need to be direct with, either they test your boundaries or genuinely oblivious to common sense. You still ain’t say what you don’t like about the husband lol.

I’ve made posts on this before and all the responses were be nice and say let’s do moms only etc and I have more than once. Now I’m getting advice like be blunt🤦‍♀️ I’m not confrontational.

Sounds like it's your husband who has the issue with it

Anyone that’s reads this: we talked on peanut/text for a year before her and her son came over, my man just grilled out back we had everything set up for kids to play he didn’t talk to her other than hi. I get he would want to come if he knows mine is here, they met. Mine didn’t like him, I understand why he wouldn’t if I were him, I asked her to be alone more than once, she’s responded to my man working and me being here “oh ___’s off well all come” I’m not confrontational. I also don’t want to cause issues about why I don’t want him here as I’ve been told not to say anything about the checking out as it’s not my business (other posts comments)

Maybe she has anxiety as it’s a new friendship and feels less anxious meeting up with you or you and your partner with her partner? You need to communicate with her because at the end of the day there could be multiple reasons she suggests her Partner come along with her. And if u feel uncomfortable with that due to what you have heard about him without even getting to know him first then the friendship is doomed from the start. Cos why would u wanna make friends with someone when u already don’t like their partner who is a massive part of that girls life. I get if he made u uncomfortable your feelings are valid but without explaining this to her she don’t even know that it’s a problem clearly. And your not making an effort to communicate your feelings and working something out maybe even getting to know her partner instead ur just thinking about cutting her off because of a first impression from the guy which could of just been taken the wrong way? I’m not trying to say your wrong

Love being blunt don’t mean confrontational. Now if she feels some type of way about then just leave it at that and stop talking to her since she doesn’t care for your boundaries. You can be nice and blunt at the same time. Being blunt don’t mean come out ya mouth crazy. Js.

@Ellie I wouldn’t want my husband to have a friends spouse over if she’s cheated the amount of times he has and often, and is checking out my man idk I wouldn’t want someone like that in my home

I’m just trying to say maybe look at it from a different perspective maybe give it ago and if he really is a creep and it wasn’t just an odd encounter taken the wrong way then at least you know idk I hope this helps x

@Eviee if you scroll up, I responded to Charlie saying why

I'd be straight out and say you don't like him if she wants to stay friends cool if not then ahh well 🤷 find more friends which I know isn't easy!

IMO if you can’t get down with the husband than the friendship isn’t for you. & that’s okay. You don’t have to be okay with her husband but I’d be honest with her. If someone said that to me, I wouldn’t want to be their friend. Sometimes friendships just don’t align. But that’s coming from someone whose best friend is my husband and we have family bbqs with our friends. Family time is important to us right now

@Shannon that does give a different perspective so thank you

Oh yeh I’m sorry I agree wit you and your husband. Your man wouldn’t be allowed in my house if he’s trying check me out Everytime the heck I look like being uncomfortable in my own house? no!

I would assume the same thing. My husband and I are a packaged deal unless stated otherwise.

At the end of the day you and your family come first and if a friendship isn’t meant to be then let it be. You’ll make mum friends and yeah it’s difficult but as long as u express your feelings from the get go you’ll show that person that your feelings need to be heard and respected and some goes and they will be more open and accepting of that if that makes sense and you won’t feel uncomfortable further down the line expressing things like this to them x

Does he not work during the week? I have mum friends that we only do day play dates coz we’re both sahm and the partners are working/WFH, or the partners get along and we do weekend family play dates, or we see each other at night just us. Different types of meetups depending on the mum and her dynamics and her schedule. The partners don’t need to be there for each and every meetup. How about you invite her out for dinner/drinks at night no kids no partner just girls?? The weekend is coming up. Friday or Sat night is perfect for that. Some peanut mums I’ve never met the partner and some I’ve never met the kids either coz we meet at night, (or a group of mums and their kids) and others I have.

I used to have a friend. And over time I start to see very toxics behaviors from her husband. I talk straight to her saying I needed some distance with him (he was a friend of mine too but was very invasive and couldn't stand it). She really accepted it and the relationship kept going for a while but it ended up not working anymore...

Just going off what I read seems like your husband is having the insecure issue. Not everyone wants to sleep with you. People check people out all the time. A look up and down meeting new people and observing people is life. And holding his history against him is kinda weird. And as someone else said maybe she has anxiety and likes her husband there. I know for me we have one car and he works 6 days a week. So we spend all the time we can together. He often attends play dates with me. ESPECIALLY if it’s people I don’t know and have never met. Now if you actually feel concerned maybe make sure something bad isn’t going on and she’s safe. But I’d say all in all maybe just don’t be friends. I know me personally, I’m not sitting at a table where my partner isn’t welcomed.