AITA

This is actual madness 😭😭 Please show him the comments so that he can see that he’s being crazy

I think you’re completely in the right, especially while baby is so small. Could you compromise and say that you’ll bring baby in when he’s a bit older so they can meet him then?

I’m probably going to be jumped on for this but I think you need to cut him some slack. When my daughter was born I couldn’t wait to go in to work and show her to my colleagues, my colleagues were like my work family and it was a really proud moment to pop in and show off my baby. So I don’t really think it’s fair to say he can’t do that, it would be much fairer to say please can you set some boundaries with your colleagues if you are really worried, like keep baby in the car seat/ pram, wash your hands before touching them. I have never been one of those people who is overly worried about germs though, we were out and about, visiting family, in restaurants, from baby being 3 days old. He is right, he’s a parent too.

If it was his male co workers want to see the baby would u feel different ? Sounds more like insecurity’s then anything eles , maybe he could drive there with the baby and not go inside would that be okay ?

@Paige no I don’t want him taking the baby there full stop there’s only 3 women and 6/7 men there. And they’ve all got their own issues where I wouldn’t trust them with anything. He was the one who said women, he never mentioned the males. It’s a dirty dusty wearhouse, he comes back filthy everyday! barrels of beer and boxes of all kinds lay around, he’s told me before about how stuff has fallen and that nobody cleans. He’s moaned about every staff member there from there addictions and sleezyness. I don’t want my child by people who are dirty especially when babies are so susceptible to becoming seriously ill. I don’t have an issue with our older child going he’s been to work with him several times. My issue is the age and the fact that I don’t want my baby poorly!

NTA at all! I wouldn't be taking a 2 week old into a warehouse or office as they're still trying to get used to the outside world and depending on if you bf, they're feeding may be sporadic. I see the girls I work with as my second family, but didn't take her to work until she was 10 weeks old, as they all had covid when she was 6 weeks old and then had d&v going around the building (joys of working in a school). Just seen your update, I wouldn't want my baby around that now at 5 months, let alone at less than 2 weeks old!

Also we have another baby who Will be 15 months old. He’s never wanted to take him so I don’t get why he’d want to take the newborn!!

Few weeks after my twins were born, my husband took them to visit some colleagues at his firm so I could sleep for a couple hours but that was in a clean office building and everyone washed their hands before holding them. We also lived 8 blocks away from the building so he literally just walked them up there. I also knew a lot of them and trusted them as they had their own babies. If it was a dirty environment like the one you’re describing, it would have been a no.

Yeah no some people are asymptomatic the last thing you need is the baby in the wrong hands and now you’re dealing with a sick newborn. You’re not even going to be there to see who holds him? That’s a huge no for me.

Sorry but why the hell is your husband more concerned about showing your baby to these random women than he is about you wanting to keep the baby safe. Tell him to sort his priorities out!

He should care more about his child’s health rather than validating his coworkers-I’m confused at why its so important to bring a two week old into work when its not a big deal if they wait and its pretty common information that a baby’s immune system isn’t very strong the first three months let alone the first two weeks. Some people are more comfortable around risking things and letting people around the baby early but if you’re not he should respect that I don’t think thats something that needs to be compromised on. Compromise is good for most situations in a relationship but when it comes to whats best for your child hell no. I would tell him he’s gotta wait and thats that. Not to mention being separated from your baby so early when they were just connected to you for 9 months especially if you’re breastfeeding is so stressful! at least it would be for me.

I get where you're both coming from. He wants to be involved in his child's life and wants to introduce them to people important to him. And you don't want to risk baby getting ill and being in a potentially dirty environment. I think, when you're both calm, there are some easy and simple solutions to this problem. Explain your concerns but express to him that you're happy for him to take baby places and look after them and you trust him because that's not the concern. See if he would agree to invite them to your house to meet baby, then you know it's clean and safe. Or see if he'd let you go with him to his work. I think the problem is he now thinks you don't trust him and you think he's being irrational and not considering baby. Talk to each other calmly later.

Does the insurance policy / health and safety of the site allow newborns there? I would tell him if he dares to do that I will report to the insurance and cause a huge mess. He is a complete idiot and deserves it.

@Grace he knows I trust him we have two other children. He’s never wanted to take our 15 month old. But he watches and cares for the children all the time and takes them out without me. My issue is the germs and being dirty

I am sure a reality check will happen. He probably wont want to go near work while he is in the newborn bubble! (And be too tired) Its can be a busy overwhelming time with visitors ect and with another child you will be adjusting. I wouldn’t cause a blazing row over it rn just ‘we’ll see’ trust me he will change his mind! Does he have a lunch hour or something? If he isnt budging over it and still bringing it up during his leave. I would say when he is back in work I would go meet him for lunch and pop in with baby so they can meet the baby then when you feel up to it and you will be in control of it because of your understandable anxieties around germs

Not happening until baby is older than a couple of weeks! They can see a picture and only if you agree to that.

@Becky it’s not our first baby, he’s out on the road until around 12/1 making the deliveries to pubs. Then he’s in the wearhouse until 3/4 so his breaks are on the road. He’s fully aware of germs as our last baby was last year, and as I’ve said a few times we also have a 15 month old and he’s never wanted to take him but he’s taken the older child as he’s a lot older and helps out

@Lu I couldn’t tell you about the insurance on the place. The owner has only just come out of rehab 🙄. It’s a relatively small business.

I’d make sure the nurses you work with explain at discharge that babies shouldn’t meet unnecessary people and groups for their first months

i understand your concern about germs as baby is still very young. i dont think the gender of your husbands coworkers should matter but it sounds like it might? bc you mentioned it? i didnt go into my job to visit coworkers w my baby until he was like 3 months and even then, he stayed in the car and i said my coworkers could go OUT to see him. i work in a school and i didnt want a million hands on him. i would bring baby to my partners work to visit him and meet his coworkers and i did that around the same time too. its whatever your comfortable with but i think you should figure out how to phrase your concerns to your husband in a way that doesnt feel “controlling” or like hes being “told” what he can and cant do if that makes sense.

I think it’s probably the way you said it not what you said.

why is everyone insinuating shes jealous of the women at his work just because she said “the girls at work” or “I never met these girls” or “the girls are in the office”. Thats probably just how her husband and her refer to the coworkers as they are girls and also in the office? 😂 and saying shes never met them is probably relevant to her because most people know the people in contact with their newborn? come on jeeez

You’re baby is so new! They don’t need to be expose to such an environment that young baby needs to learn ur home before learning more places and germs! I’m due in about a month and it’ll just be us in the home and his Dr office for a long while I don’t even want people coming over to our home to see him!!

If people read my comments. He worded it to me as the girls in the office never mentioned males. It’s not the gender that’s the issue.

Him acting he can take the baby when he wants as if you haven’t Carried that little one for 9 months! That’s traumatic. I’d be booking a hotel for the entirety for his paternity leave. Threatening you like that is a disgrace! You have a very valid reason for it and even if you didn’t, what you say should be final! You are the one carrying the baby, not him! It would be different if he said when the little one gets bigger can he bring them into work, it would give you a break too. But not 1) be told and 2) a 2 week old!! He needs to sort himself out

That’s actually rude of them to say to bring the baby in so they can see. I understand being close to your coworkers but your husband should be the one to listen to you and your concerns then deal with his coworkers. If they had common sense I’m sure they would understand. A picture is enough.

@Kate he knows I don’t have an issue with our eldest, and he’s also never wanted to take our youngest at nearly 15 months old. I just don’t get why he wants to take the new born it’s not like he doesn’t know about germs and my feelings because we’ve long done it

@Demi he’s not even close to them. Not sure if you’ve read all the comments but I’ve mentioned he’s moaned about every staff member, and told me everything from addictions to sleezyness. He doesn’t even really talk to them. He’s doesn’t communicate outside of work, and he doesn’t get back to the wearhouse until 12/1 the office leave at 2. I’d prob get it if he was close. But at the same time it’s still really dirty

@Kate massive overreaction and the father has equal rights once the baby is born, don’t act like mums are superior

I think he will understand once the baby is born. Becoming a parent changes people

Also those women probably aren’t moms lol

He can show them a picture lol

Could a compromise be made here? His co-workers get to see the baby, but say at 3 months old instead of 2 weeks, and you bring the baby in (I’m assuming you’ll be on maternity leave) so can be there to oversee any interactions and make sure no one is ill/kissing baby/hasn’t washed their hands? At 2 weeks old, not a chance in hell would I allow my newborn to be going into a dirty office, especially for people who he is not even close to.

It is very unlikely that any insurance will allow that, any if the insurance was to find out most likely they could increase the premium or rescind the policy which would be very bad for the business.

@Lu I should imagine as it’s alcohol there’s some restrictions somewhere

I personally wouldn't because of the germs alone and you should be resting indoors,feet up and bonding at that point and everything else can wait. I gave birth to my now 2 year old and only seen one midwife, one doctor and was discharged home the same day so just a few hours old, the next day having had no visitors yet she had a strange rash under her armpit. I asked the midwife to come earlier to check, she had staphylococcus scalded skin syndrome , very poorly and very serious as they said touch and go at first and was so so poorly within hours. They said this was highly contagious from someone touching a contagious baby and then not washing their hands before touching mine. She was so poorly and had to be on a drip having medication for over a week and then got strep A and was poorly for another 7 weeks.

I also took my now 7 month old for a routine scan, was in and out within an hour this week and she didn't touch anyone or even have to get out the pram and has chickenpox now. Some people are really unlucky and some are ok but is it worth the risk? No

Also i think it's actually nasty that he threatened to just take the baby like that, that would give me such anxiety and there's no need to say or do that. I'd be avoiding him as that would make me so uncomfortable and probably staying elsewhere

My LO caught "just a cold" when a family member visited, which turned into bronchitis! This time, no none essential visits. No extended family who havent asked about us, jsut because they want to cuddle a newborn. Friends who have been there for me over family, etc, and I've had the RSV vaccine this time! When you know people, you yourself know you can trust them, your maternal instincts are what is important for the baby's wellbeing in the newborn stage and theirs no need for you to be separated from them unless its for your mental health and wellbeing!

I understand being excited about a new baby and wanting to show them off but I don’t see why he can’t wait a few months. The baby’s safety should be put first and it doesn’t sound like that would be a very safe situation. It seems it would also cause you unnecessary stress right after giving birth. The baby doesnt really get a choice but I assume they would be more unhappy sick than they would be if they weren’t sick. Super toxic to threaten to take the baby without your knowledge tho lol that pisses me off. The baby is a little human, not for the validation or your husband or the satisfaction of his coworkers. If baby does get sick, who will be taking care of sick baby?

@Victoria~ I’d get it if he’d done it with our last baby but hasn’t and he’s nearly 15 months old. I’d also get it if he was close. But I’d expect much more older than 2 weeks. It would be me looking after baby while he works

Your partner is a jerk and ignorant. Saying to a new mom he will take the 2 weeks old baby is just not OK. Also a 2 weeks old shouldn't be exposed. Period. That's safety. Don't let him do shit to you in your most vulnerable moment in life. Not because mom's are superior as I could read here but because he shouldn't be thinking at showing off at 2 weeks pp. He should be doing his part at home and bonding with baby and support you for bf if you decide to and do chores, organise,... Coworkers can wait.. seriously what's the deal. We are talking of a 2 weeks old newborn!!!! Massive jerk

I’m 50/50 on this one. I think it’s perfectly normal to want to take your baby in to meet your co workers, I’ve worked in offices since I left school and this is “the done thing”. However it’s the fact your husband works in a dirty warehouse that concerns me. Could you go with him and go at the beginning of the day before everyone gets mucky? Could you go with him and insist the baby remains in the pram? My little boy contracted RSV at 7 weeks and spent a week on the children’s ward in hospital so I totally understand your concern, but I also understand wanting to show his baby to his colleagues. I just think there’s ways you can do it and make it safe

The warehouse might be dirty but the kid isn’t going to be rolling around on the floor? I work in an office with a warehouse downstairs, the office is fine and I will 100% be taking my baby in to meet people.

No. He's the asshole for the comment he made. Maybe he doesn't know any better? Educate him about the baby's immune system development and how it's not worth the risk just because he selfishly wants to show the baby off. Better safe than sorry. We waited 3 months before we had any visitors (other than our parents) or ventured out, and while my husband didn't fully understand it, he respected my wishes, and so did everyone that wanted to meet him. You'll be going through enough during postpartum, and this is not a worry/fear you should have on top of everything else. He can show them pictures and videos, and they can come visit (or you go visit) once you feel ready. You should absolutely come first. It's such a vulnerable time. I hope you can come to an understanding. 💛

Don’t take it as a thing he’s really gonna do, pregnancy hormones make things bigger that they are. Pretty sure he won’t do when he will realize once ghe baby in his hands how fragile they are, no worries. And if any need, just ask the doctors in front of your husband, it will help to settle things (we were wondering, would that be ok you think to take my baby to his office with tatata), like ask with facts as if you really wondering not like « ah see who’s right ?! » , so that it won’t be an « ego thing »

I didn’t expose my daughter to ANYONE who didn’t have their T-dap updated for 6 months and made everyone who came close to her wear a mask till she was 9 months and I still make everyone sanitize/wash hands every time they want to hold her. Germs are no joke especially at 2 weeks old. Protect your baby’s health, that should be a top priority.

He’s probably just excited to show baby off, we have people bring in babies to work sometimes but usually when they are a bit older!

You can drive up with him and allow them to step out and come up to your car while baby is still safe and secure in the car seat. While a window is rolled down. My husband and I both work in a warehouse and this is what we did for our friends who wanted to see.

Could you also go with him and baby to almost oversee make sure they don’t cross any boundaries you aren’t comfortable with?