Mum guilt

You are not ! I was in the same situation, and i didn’t know after they gain back over the birth weight you don’t have to wake up every 3 hours so i kept doing it , until one night when i swiched off my alarm as inwas exhausted. But then I asked HV and she said “ ohhh you shouldn’t wake up every 3 h for feeding as he is over his birth weight” so that really reassured me .. but now we back at exactly 3 hours , but this time he wakes up …

@iulia I think the fact she doesn’t seem to be wake at night asking for a feed makes me feel worse for some reason. She has just taken a really good 35 min feed where as she normally just has 5 or 10 mins when u wake her every 3 hours.

I had this standoff with my midwife, feeding a baby every 2 hours is exhausting, I'm sorry and honestly I never woke any of mine to feed, I fed them at their demand. Sometimes if I woke to go toilet I would offer a dream fee do because I was awake and it ment I could sleep again thereafter. All 3 of my children were on the 90th percentile and maintained this after that expected initial birth weight drop.

Stop being so hard on yourself. You obviously needed the extra sleep. Your baby is 1 month old, it's a LOT to adapt to and your body is not used to these frequent night wakings. They take their toll on you. As long as your baby had a good feed when she woke up, that's all that matters. Plus, one missed feed on the 3 hourly plan isn't going to make a difference anyway! X

Mine slept through the night from birth and I never woke him. He lost a little weight but its not enough to be concerned about and he soon put it back on. If she was hungry she would have let you know. You've done nothing wrong at all and we need to get sleep where we can. Mine would only have 4 bottles a day and 5 at a push. Just wasn't a very hungry baby. Don't feel pressured to wake a sleeping baby by so called health care professionals. Especially since your breast feeding which is hard work in itself. For this is the reason I chose to bottle feed as I didn't want baby stuck to me all day long. Your doing a great job and have made up for it in the day so let yourself sleep through the night. It's good training for baby too xxx

Of course that doesn’t make you a bad mum!! My second child started doing 12 hour sleeps from 4 weeks and I just let him do it without ever waking as he was feeding plenty during the day and I wanted to enjoy the sleep! X

Omg I slept through soooo many alarms when I was on a feeding plan, please don’t feel guilty or worry! If she goes a little bit longer between feed that’s totally okay.

My girl was also supposed to feed every 3 hours and I snoozed several alarms in the night, she is absolutely fine. If they needed it that badly they would wake. Just thunk if it as you both got a bit more sleep. I always had to wake mine for any overnight feeds as she was never that bothered so sometimes I would snooze the alarm but it just shows how much I needed that extra sleep. Gotta look after yourself to look after them 🖤

Oh also if she’s back over birth weight then definitely let her sleep if she wants to! When I got over that mental block my little girl started only waking once in the night and a few weeks later started sleeping through! She naturally wants to eat every 3 hours during the day and she’s still gaining weight.

You are not a bad mum, you are human and in the trenches of a newborn and sleep deprived! My daughter lost 12% of her birthweight, and we were round the clock feeding and pumping BM to get her back to birth weight, took nearly a month. I have slept through so many alarms for night feeds in those later weeks when she didn’t wake me and once she was back to birth weight and gaining well it isn’t such a worry, especially as your little one was the one who kept sleeping, different if they woke and you chose not to feed, which you didn’t 😘 also, my daughter is now nearly 2, you would never know she lost so much weight as a newborn, that she missed feeds, or had jaundice! It feels all consuming when they are little, especially as a first time mum, but I promise that guilt wont be there when LO is older. You are doing an amazing job, little one is thriving! Big hugs xx

A hungry baby will wake you up by crying. If she didn’t wake up crying for a feed then she clearly wasn’t hungry and once she’s back over her birth weight you no longer need to wake them up for feeds through night. Enjoy the sleep you’re getting now as it might not last for long☺️

We were on a feeding plan due to weight loss and needing to feed every 3 hours, we gradually began to reduce the extra night feeds after regaining birth weight. Please don’t be upset with yourself, it’s so important that you also get some sleep especially for breastfeeding!

If she was hungry she would cry! Don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re doing an amazing job just let your LO let you know when she wants a feed so you can get them extra hours in xx

I’m back again 😂 you said she ate 11 times during the day! She’s moving the bulk of her feeding to during the day, which is what we want them to do. Sounds like you’re doing amazingly!! In a couple of weeks she’ll be eating like 6 times total

I never woke my first baby to feed them, I just fed when they woke so if he had a big sleep he ate less frequently

Please don’t worry. If baby is gaining weight now, you don’t need to wake. Baby obviously wasn’t hungry, or needed that feed otherwise they would have woken. Besides, you obviously needed that sleep. Try and not stress, and not worry x

Baby probably wasn't as hungry ☺️

Don't feel bad at all if they were starving they would have woke u up crying it's okey your a human it's exhausting been a mum x

Honestly if she's above birth weight now and she sleeps it's okay. I was told after mine hit above her birth weight I could just feed her when she wakes. Which was every 4 to 5 hours

@Helen only things is she is still only on a low percentile even above birth weight so got to be extra vigilant as she still hasn’t really put on enough weight for her age

@Megan low centile isn't always a bad thing, it depends how low. My daughters always been just above the 25th centile. But still try not to beat yourself up if they're gaining missing a feed here and there over night is fine. You need your rest as well

Not an awful Mum at all!! She obviously didn’t need it if she didn’t wake to alert you. One missed feed won’t do her any harm so don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re doing a great job feeing so frequently xx