Have you guys considered therapy? Just to have someone help mediate the conversations around this
@Lyss I think he needs to do some therapy on his own to figure out where these interests come from. I've tried to walk him through it a little bit in a Socratic kind of way of questions but we hit blocks along the way, and he doesn't always know how to answer. We do try to talk a lot of this out, I just personally feel lately like he wants me to be this hot crazy freak all the time, and with my toddler using up 90% of my energy and braincells for most of the day, I just can't always bring the freakshow to give him. I don't want to let him down, but also I'm not interested in this being our norm.
@Jenna it's not an unwillingness to compromise. I'm willing to experiment and enjoy it, I just don't want it to be the norm. I feel like there can be some spiciness to keep things fresh. We love each other, and genuinely enjoy each other, so divorce and open sex life are off the table for both of us. It's really the one thing in our relationship that makes me really uncomfortable. We've had conversations about it and I feel like to some degree he feels slighted or insecure that I'm not as gung-ho about it as he'd like me to be.