I hate feeding my baby !

This may sound really selfish and I don’t know what I want from this but I hate bottle feeding my baby ! I absolutely loved breastfeeding, I loved the connection I had with my baby and how loved it made me feel. I knew it was what he needed and throughout my pregnancy it’s all I wanted to do. It was hard at first but we did really well in the end and I feel I was forced out of it too quickly. Me and my partner decided to do one or 2 bottles a day (pumped milk) so he could feed him to let me rest, but then as I started to build a small stash, everytime baby was hungry he’d always rush to do a bottle and not give me chance to feed him. My supply dropped so quickly that we had to change him to formula as he couldn’t get enough from me . No formula ever agreed with him, then was soon put onto lactose free formula as he’s lactose intolerant. I had a complete dairy free diet due to my own health and he never had any trouble with breastmilk. Everytime I have to feed my baby (now 17 weeks) I feel angry and I hate feeding him a bottle. It’s not what I wanted to do and I can’t stop thinking about breastfeeding. My heart hurts whenever he has a bottle, to the point I have to give him to someone else to feed as I hate having to give him a bottle. I don’t know where I wanted to go with this, I think I needed to get it off my chest. Is this even normal ? Or am I crazy ?
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So sorry to read this :( I've been a bit worried about my boys weight gain, but putting off introducing a bottle as I'm so worried about this happening, as I live breastfeeding so much. Is your supply definately completely gone? No chance of getting it back (I don't know if this is possible, but it might be worth speaking to a lactation consultant!)

You can just keep putting him to your breast and it’s very likely you’ll build that supply up. I’d do kind of “forced” cluster feeding- obviously not forced, but a shit ton of skin to skin with him on there. Pace feed those bottles so it’s harder for him to get any out, bottles are easier to feed from so pace feeding helps it be more similar to breast feeding

@Natasha Definitely gone, I tried for weeks to improve it, got new pumps, upped my water/calorie intake, tried teas, lactation cookies, putting baby to breast, literally everything I can think of, and nothing. I find myself crying while feeding him sometimes because I hate the bottle. I started giving him 1 bottle around 3 weeks and completely stopped pumping/feeding at 4 weeks as my partner wouldn’t give in about the bottles, he’s now 17 weeks so there’s no chance

There are medicines you can take that can get the milk going again, some mothers who have gone through surrogacy or same sex mothers will take this to start off milk production x

@Lydia Do you happen to know what it’s called or where I can get them from ?

Aside from maybe speaking to a lactation consultant, I'm not sure I have any advice. However I just wanted to say it doesn't sound selfish at all and what you're feeling is totally valid ♥️

Speak to your doctor- I think it’s called domeprone? Or something similar to that x

I have had to stop breastfeeding as my boy needs a special feed due to a medical condition we didn't know about until he was 3 weeks old. It's not at all what I wanted to do and I am so sad about not being able to breastfeed. I know how you feel. It's okay to feel that way and be sad that things are different than expected.

We were giving my boy one formula feed before bed when he was a couple of weeks old and stopped because he didn't agree with the formula, but also because the first time my partner looked after him on his own he gave him a bottle instead of bringing him to me and that told me he would keep doing that and I wasn't going to let him (completely accidentally, he just does not get breastfeeding and supply) sabotage my breastfeeding this baby. So I completely understand where your anger is coming from and my heart hurts for you so much. Your feelings are totally valid x

So I attended a local breastfeeding group and was talking to one of the other mums the other day who said there supply came back after stopping 4 weeks prior to that and then wanted to go back to it. I didn’t even know this was possible. Maybe not for all but there might be some kind of hope. Also yes I read in the other comments but was advised by the lactation team about domeprone too to increase my supply. You need to ask your dr I’ve been told. Good luck and I really hope what ever the outcome is you start to feel better with it all. I currently combi feed sue to slow weight gain but yeah cried the first bottle feeds. It’s a hard transition especially if it wasn’t really much your choice xx

I would definitely speak with a doctor about Domperidone, it isn’t a magical fix but does help kick start milk supply, some doctors aren’t keen to prescribe it: so it’s also great to speak with your local health visiting team and get referred to the infant feeding team/ feeding specialists in your area, they’ll either call you or arrange a home visit and that way, they can support you with getting a plan in place and it may also help your partner with learning about how you’re feeling/ importance of breastfeeding if that’s what you want to do. I can only imagine how rubbish it’s made you feel, but don’t be too hard on yourself. I had to supplement in the start due to delayed milk supply and that was heartbreaking, now at 16 weeks I’m exclusively bf and have worked hard to get here and keep going. Also remember when they’re bigger you can’t tell which babies were bf vs btf, wishing you lots of luck. 🍀 x

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