No more kids?

Something I've heard multiple times and think it right is-if you're on the fence, you're not done. when you're sure you're done, that's when you're done. My sister was on the fence with 2, had #3 and was sure and theyre happy as a family of 5. My cousin was on the fence with 5 but decided after #6 they're complete now. I will say if thats the only reason you want to have another i don't recommend it. All of the women in my family had to get induced or have c sections, none of us went into labor naturally. Even my grandmother didn't, and that was when it was more common

I like the girl aboves comment cuz I’m in the same boat in a way I have a 3 yo girl and 3 mo old son it’s all new and I’m like omg why did I sign up for this lol but at the same time I’m like I want another lil girl but not right away like 4-5 years from now and I’m pretty sure that will be my last cuz I’ll be 40 my man wants one right now I’m like I would literally die lol but that’s why I never got my tubes ride because even though all my family suggested it I knew a part of my wanted to try one more time 💁🏼‍♀️

I want another but I want at least 5years age gap

SAME

For me I've always wanted 2 or 3. I have 2 now. I don't feel like I'll know if my family feels "complete" until my daughters personality shows out more, since she's only 3 months now. .. as a result im soaking in allllll the baby love in case she IS my last, but it's just not clear to me yet.

I feel the same way! This second baby is likely to be an induction and so was my first. I feel part of me would want another for the natural labour experience, but also I’m very happy with 2

@Jade this is the thing I don’t exactly feel on the fence,I think I’m more struggling with both births more than anything and that’s maybe why I’m questioning it. Because my 2nd was a home birth I guess I’d feel healed or at peace in a way as my first birth was awful and then the second was just as bad! Did the women in your family feel like they missed out? I do think in my case it’s like I feel robbed of a birth I would’ve liked and I’m normally very chilled and go with the flow. I wouldn’t have another child just to “heal” trauma but just wanted to see if there was anybody else feeling similar as I’m struggling to understand if it’s me feeling incomplete or robbed if that makes sense!

@Dana I completely get this! When people say they knew I’m like how though 😩 I’ll be 30 in a few months and I’ve always said I want to be done having kids by 30 (when I was 18 30 felt so far away but little did I know 😂). That’s why I didn’t get mine tied either! The plan was always when me and my partner agreed we were done he would get the snip and we’ve had talks since our second as I keep saying I THINK I’m done. I just feel like my mental health and lifestyle couldn’t add another,I absolutely love being a mother and being able to raise children but I don’t think I physically could! I have so much respect for women that have multiple children! Pregnancy with both was never easy I had severe sickness,migraines and PGP but even though it’s awful to deal with it’s so worth it! Do you feel like you’ll have a 3rd?

@Victoria I feel like this is a nice age gap! An 18 month age gap has me in the trenches 😂

@Steffani I’m so glad you said this so thank you!! I’m soaking every moment with my 5 month old and it does make sense to see their personality come out! It’s like your second is a blessing in a way you know what to expect and what you took for granted with your first you make sure you don’t with your second!

@Sadie I have everything crossed for you that you’re able to have a natural Labour! I’d love to message you to see what happens with your second only if you’re okay with that!

I felt like I missed out with my first, I thought it would go good but after almost 3 hours I needed an emergency c section and my son coded so I couldn't hold him for an hour while they brought him back and had him in a ventilator. Traumatic for him, for me, and for my husband. When I got pregnant (on birth control) with my daughter, i was so nervous it would happen again. Her birth also didn't go to plan but was better. I felt bitter and robbed for months after having my son, but my postpartum therapist helped me see that I needed to make peace with it in my own way and focus on the good parts of the bad situation. I'd recommend maybe talking to a therapist to work through these feeling and your thoughts of having a 3rd. I'd hate for you to get pregnant and have a bunch of hopes resting on that birth to finally go your way just for it to be as bad or worse then feel resentful or hateful towards yourself or your children

Also, after my traumatic delivery and absolute hell of recovery with my son, my sister gave birth a month after me and her son came out in 3 pushes and she was up and walking around in 10 hours or less. Her son didn't have colic, she was able to breastfeed, didn't have ppd, etc. I definitely didn't have the experience I thought I would have. With my daughter, she had worse colic, other health issues, and I was trying to heal while taking care of my toddler as well

Yea my current 2 are 15m apart. I'm struggling to even scrape by mentally 😅

@Jade I’m so sorry for what you all went through! I’m so glad your therapist helped you! This may be what I need,thing is I’m a very chilled person and I accept things that aren’t in my control but this just seems to be nagging at me! If I was to have a third where I am I would be full of anxiety as my partners away for the rest of the year and some of next year so giving birth with 2 kids on my own is DEFINITELY a no go but with his job there would never be a right time anyway but I do feel like I’m at capacity with both my girls! I’m definitely going to look into a therapist thank you x

@Victoria I have an 18 month gap and the last week has completely put me off I’m deep in the trenches 😅 about a month ago if I was ever tired I could nap with them both but now sleep deprivation is my best friend 🙃

I'm feeling that

If you want a postpartum specific therapist, you can call your ob and they usually have a few they can recommend. I'm sure a normal one would work just fine though!