Could you brush this off?

Does he have any additional needs? Learning needs for example? Only asking because the lack of eye contact, not talking directly at you, no awareness of personal space and proximities. Could also be a confidence issue, over friendly with children as they’re innocent and less judgemental and so he feels it easier to talk to children than adults who may be worried are judging him.
Just first thing that popped into my head

Trust your gut. Your spidey sense in tingling for a reason. Even if he’s ultimately harmless and is just immature and lacks social awareness, I’d rather offend a thousand male friends and relatives than brush off a potential predator for fear of being rude.

I’m not saying call him out directly. I just mean keep it on your radar and hold firm boundaries.

hey, I honestly don’t think so but I can see why you might wonder that! He does always make eye contact during general conversation, it’s only in these kinds of situations where he might mumble or not look directly at you and speak loud enough so someone hears him but not at them. Or if people are having a conversation and he has a thought, sometimes an unpopular opinion for example he’ll mumble but talk into the space rather than directly to someone. Idk he’s definitely sensitive to other people’s judgements but almost sometimes too sure of himself 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ahh ok. Was just a thought. So he does some of these things as if he wants to get his point across but in a victim kind of way? With the lack of eye contact even though he’s opinionated etc.
Yeah sounds weird then I get it

I definitely wouldn’t call him out unless i had to, but yes do feel he’s immature and ultimately harmless. it just bothers me as that scenario pops up in my head sometimes and makes me feel uncomfortable. I know I wouldn’t want to bring it to my husband’s attention as he would get upset feeling like I’m accusing his brother of something but we are also otherwise very open about anything and everything with each other and I’d want to know if he had any feelings toward my family members or reservations. Or maybe some things are best left unsaid

We have a neighbour/family friend that my husband is very close with. He clearly loves my boys and always brings them treats. They trust him and would gladly go with him if he invited them into his home. I think he’s harmless, but this is grooming behaviour 101 and it is definitely on my radar.

I mentioned it to my husband and he did get offended and said that the neighbour would be deeply offended/hurt if he found out I said/thought that. I wasn’t accusing him of anything, I just said “that is grooming behaviour and a red flag to a parent, even if it’s totally innocent.”

He’s someone my boys could/would go to for help if there was an emergency and my husband and I were unavailable, and he’s given me no other reason to be wary, so I don’t want my own fears to prevent them from having another safe adult in their lives that they can trust, but still…

It’s a hard thing for a mother to navigate. All we can do is look for red flags and teach them about tricky people.

My neighbour asked for my son’s help (10) from over my back garden fence and offered him sweets in return and told him not to tell me. I only found out when I asked where he got the sweets.
It was asking my son to help him get some things that had blown over into my garden and I think he just couldn’t be bothered to knock the door to ask me to get them and so was harmless.
But I did have to speak with him and then my son regarding good secrets and bad secrets and secrets regarding strangers or even people we may know and also accepting gifts from people without me knowing.

I wouldn’t leave my child with him either.
I am generally very cautious about these things but a grown man who gets things like that about a baby specially wouldn’t be left alone with my kids.
Does he have kids?

I think some older men don’t realize the way their genuinely friendly behaviour could be misinterpreted, but also don’t want to just chalk it up to just that.

Trust your gut girl. Nothing is more important than your girls safety. Regardless of how "rediculous/overreacting" it may seem, I'd rather be dramatic than wrong. If he creeps you out, then do what you gotta do to keep her and you safe xxx

if your gut is telling you something is off. something is more than likely off. like the other have said. keep a radar on him. as she gets older, you will notice if she finds him uncomfortable too. i was hanging out with a group of friends once. my daughter was 1.5 yr or so. and some dude i’ve never met showed up. she ran straight over to me and wouldn’t leave my side. i knew right away something was wrong with him when he walked in. i even got that gut feeling. and the fact she sensed it right away too.

I don't change my little baby in front of anyone because no one needs to see her private bits. Maybe he felt that way? If someone is changing their baby in front of me i usually do get up and do something so that the child has privacy and because they're not my child.

If your gut is telling you something is off about him based on other experiences and this then def pay attention to him and how she behaves around him too.

Accidentally clicked brush it off.

totally agree. It’s a shame we have to have these conversations with our children

I was also thinking it sound alike he is on the spectrum, Asperger's or something, but you've already address that comment.
Always trust your intuition, I always second guess myself and end up kicking myself as my intuition was right. On the other hand though I'm weird about changing nappies Infront of people, (most abuse is done by somebody you know) I have been treated very horrible by men and want to protect my child from any nasty people (not saying you don't, what you do is non of my business) my mom who was sexually abused as a child is also the same in regards to changing nappies Infront of people, family or not. I think it's just a product of our experiences. You may think we are weird for that but to us it's logical. Just because we don't think the same doesn't make us weird I don't think, I think we are just extra/over cautious.