I'm losing my mind

I have a 3 week old baby girl and she is the calmest most chill baby ever and then there's my two year son who is completely put of control. I don't get it. He's nice to the baby and everything but man his dam whining constantly is really getting on my nerves , I am so tired of hearing every dingle day from the moment he wakes up.. everytime I'm feeding his sister he has to conveniently want something and will whine if front of me until I get so frustrated I have to interrupt the baby's feeding to get him whatever it is he wants so he'll shut up. He whines more than the baby does but it's not even real crying , there's no tears just whining. Like I love both of my kids to death but I just don't know what to do with my son and his behavior and this whining thing has been going on since way before baby was born and it's just gotten worse ughhhh. I feel like I'm gonna go crazy
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sounds like a typical 2 year old :/ he is going through a big adjustment with your new baby! i get how tiring it is but it won’t last forever, try to have patience with him and yourself! you got this 🤍

Whew girl same here. I have a 2.5 year old and a six month old. The whining is tough for sure. I feel you.

So I’m thankfully not at this stage yet, but my mom made a whining chair, that if I wanted to whine that was ok but I had to go sit in the chair to do it. Apparently it worked for her. I’ve also worked with families that would say “im sorry I can’t understand you when you talk like that can you use your big kid voice, and that seemed to work pretty well for at least getting them to stop and drop the tone.

Well that's the issue as well is he isn't developing fast. In fact he has delays, and only understands a handful of commands , and cant speak full sentences and only knows some words . I try to be patient but I can only take so much..... I try ignoring it but it's so dam hard when he's practically doing it right in my face

I’m sorry that sounds really rough. If you’re in the US, have you been in touch with your local regional center? If he’s delayed you may qualify for some help even that’s just an hr 1x a week of a teacher coming in to work on developmental skills or speech therapy.

He is in speech therapy already

He needs to be given grace by a loving mother. He’s 2 and apparently more non verbal than verbal. I’d say you’re the issue mom not the 2 year old. Learn to regulate your own temper and maybe he could then start to learn to regulate his emotions also.

Im dealing with the same😭😭 only thing saving me is i take him to daycare 3 times a week sometimes the whole week

My son is this way too. I find that if I play with him in his world as much as I can (minus cooking, cleaning, taking care of baby sis,etc) he is a lot less likely to whine. He is almost 3yo and is finally starting to understand what whining is. I usually tell him I can't understand when he talks like that. Or if I've really had it, I'll tell him I will not answer him until he talks in a normal voice. And that I'll keep tugging my ear until he speaks normally. I can deal with a lot but whining is something that kills me too girl. I have to literally set aside time for mediation daily to keep myself regulated lol

@Siera it's not like I don't love him.. of course I love him . Hes my baby boy, He made me a momma and saved my life if I'm being honest , yes I have a short temper but one thing I definitely dont do is take it out on him , more likely I break down in silence. I'm sure he probably does notice when I'm not a great mood though.. not everyone is good and regulating their emotions I try to hide it as much as I can. Maybe it's also just being stuck inside the house all the time but can't really do much to fix that we. We don't live in a house so there's not a backyard he can just run wild in and most of the time my bf has the car for work

Typical 2yo behaviour, my 3yo whines. Feel free to message me for advice xx

He 100% feeds off your energy. Channel yourself and see if you don’t notice a difference in him. Having a new sibling isn’t easy his attention just got split in half. X

What @Shay said about finding a way to "fill his cup" back up will go a long way to easing the whining. It's so hard though, especially with a newborn. My kids are 15 months apart and my son was also nonverbal when my daughter was born. It was a lot. It still is and he's nearly 4. He's looking for your attention bc now there's another kid getting it... Especially when you're feeding baby. If the whining keeps working, you're enforcing the behaviour. That's why others suggested not helping him until he can speak in a normal voice or tone. I've started this with my son also as he's a huge whiner, and it's incredibly grating! If he's having a hard time with it, I'll often mimic how he sounds back to him. It usually gets him laughing bc it sounds absurd, but it also shows him how hard it is to understand. Sometimes it takes 10 minutes or longer for him to finally talk to me normally, but it does get the point across. It sounds like you need to give YOURSELF some grace. What you are doing is very difficult.

@Siera the way you approached this is so sad. We have a mom reaching out for help and suggestions, and instead you tell her that she's the problem. 😢 Trying to regulate our own emotions is not an easy task, especially as so many of us were not modeled that behaviour when WE were growing up. Add in sleep deprivation, a new family dynamic, a toddler who is already having trouble expressing himself, it's A LOT. There are so many other ways you could have phrased the advice you wanted to share, in a kinder way. Straight up blaming her is not useful. Let's lift eachother up with support, understanding, and suggestions. If you can't do those things, then perhaps you should scroll by, or find a new group to frequent. 🤷‍♀️

@Danielle in this case the 2 year old definitely is deserving of the same GRACE. Anyone advocating for my child would not piss me off and I think you’re making it a bit personal. Having a hard time to regulate your own emotions due to your parents not displaying the traits are exactly why I gave her the advice to give a little more grace. if a grown woman can have a hard time then a 2 year old that’s having a hard time communicating 100% gets a free pass. My advice simply states hug him, be understanding, and regulate your emotions so he mirrors that, she deemed him a problem(out of control) because of the whining/fits and I stated I don’t think he is the issue some moms don’t realize how much their mood affects the household. sorry you took it as such. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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