Re-finding yourself and your identity after becoming a mama
Hey mamas, my boy is 18 months old, I’m a single mum (no father on scene). My two best mates left in the first 6 months for different reasons but essentially I just wasn’t their ‘yes person’ anymore and they were not in the same phase of life as me. I’ve started to realise how low my confidence has gotten and that my previously strong sense of identity has faded a lot. I understand this is a thing for new mamas and just wondering how you all re-discovered yourselves and your sense of identity after childbirth, please. Tips, time taken, pitfalls to avoid would all be welcomed.
(Added info, I work full time, from home, and love my career, so that’s going well right now)
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I’m sorry to hear your original support system hasn’t been helpful! I also had a friend(s) that gave it the whole “I’m so excited to meet him/be there for you” for them to now be non-existent! It’s such a shitty feeling so I’m sorry that’s happened to you.
To be honest, I don’t think we ever really find ourselves. I think we invent new versions of ourselves. I often find that the things I used to enjoy are no longer interesting anymore. I’m pleased to hear your job is going well! You seem to be doing really well with that aspect (it’s often the thing that makes us feel “normal” post-baby).
I’m still on my journey of rediscovery - my LO is 11 months. Feel free to message me if you ever want to chat? I love a good phone call too, so I’m always open to giving someone the opportunity to vent and just chit chat.
Tip-wise, I would suggest trying some of the things you used to do pre-baby. For example, I liked getting my nails & hair done which made me feel a lot more “me” post-baby!
thank you so much xxxx
I’m still trying to find myself from becoming an adult
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