in May 2024 Babies 🇬🇧

Help teach baby to self settle?

11 month old here who has never self settled or gotten to sleep alone and wondering how people do this! For context we EBF and feed to sleep (has worked for us up till now and don’t believe in creating bad habit’s, but both ready to start sleeping more independently now) and he still wakes 2/3 times a night to feed. Sleep training in any form is not for me so please don’t suggest this! But is it possible to help teach in a different way? My thoughts is I want to get to his first birthday and then gradually and gently wean from then, so think this will naturally impact the way he sleeps anyway but would love some tips or experiences! The HV suggested offering water and shhing during the night instead of feeding 😂 fine, but he would just scream until he’s inconsolable. And that he needs to learn to self settle.. but no advice on how to do this!

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I introduced a new sleep association when bf (pat bum) and she falls sleep to me patting bum in cot and shhing. Less wake ups but she does usually wake up her first sleep cycle so I have to resettle then one-two times for a feed (now formula feed) she used to wake 6-12 times so massive improvement.

If you changed your routine so you fed earlier and not to sleep then it would likely stop the night wakes, particularly if your baby could take themselves off to sleep. Just as currently you are feeding to sleep means baby is expecting that when moving between sleep cycles. But would probably involve tears so may be difficult to do this. I did this with my oldest and she screamed initially like what are you doing but after a few minutes it just became moany and after 2 nights she was sleeping through. We had 4/5 wakes before this time! She's slept through ever since, and tbh I enjoyed bf her more after we stopped feeding to sleep xx

I moved my EBF fed on demand baby to a feeding schedule during the day to make sure that he was getting good non-snacky BF’s and was hungry enough to eat 3 full meals and it’s been a game changer. I also stopped feeding to sleep starting with the nap/bedtime he seemed most tired for which for us was his first nap of the day, so I fed him earlier in the wake window and I then assisted him to sleep in his crib, either patting sushing picking up/putting down whatever works for them , I think slowly reduced down the amount of intervention to get him to sleep. We also have a short but consistent bedtime routine. He now self settles for every nap/bedtime and currently having some night with zero night feeds.

Not here to suggest sleep training, but just to say any change in routine is likely to result in tears and that is completely okay. It won't do babe any harm to be a little upset and frustrated. We were able to break the feed to sleep association for bedtime with a bit of fussing, but made sure we comforted her in different ways (cuddles, pats, ssshing etc). I did read the book Precious Little Sleep which has some interesting perspectives and I'd say is worth a read even if you're not looking to "train" :)

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