Long vent but need insight 😭

I went through a similar situation where he was going through it at night. Hard to settle him, constantly waking wanting to be held back to sleep. One night I was sooo tired and I guess I turned the baby monitor off by accident. I woke up to get ready for work and I was like omfg. I cried all the way to work and at my desk I felt so bad. Then my husband sent me reddit stories that helped me see that I wasn't alone. I think at that time, he was either teething or going through separation anxiety, or even the sleep regression. His sleep will get better and he's not traumatized I promise you ♥️

So I think it's important to remember you are only one person you were extremely tired when u get to that point u knock out there's not much u can do , just try not to be so hard on yourself

But I promise you that only happening once won't traumatize them , they know u usually come when they need something ♥️♥️

There was definitely times I didn't wake up and my partner did / the other way around

The important part to remember is there was someone to get the baby♥️

Me personally never got the cry it out method might get hate for this but I'm completely against it because people say it's for babies learn to soothe themselves at that time they are not suppose to be doing that alone if they don't need something they at least need to feel close to you ,and that was a older generation type of thing the same generation that most of them were toxic parents- this is not attacking u- when u mentioned it - it just reminded me

Mama, one of the basic needs of a baby is to sleep with their mothers. Apart from food, clothing and a shelter, being touched, reassured all day/night is a basic need for a secure attachment. Pls read or research this and make an informed choice. Seems like you both (parents) are exhausted and tired from the night wakes and my heart goes out to you. I can understand your experience has left you questioning a lot, what you’re feeling is important as it’s making you feel for your child, empathise. Your instincts are right that baby is scared of being left by themself. To create independence you need to first be extremely close as Erika Komisar the child psychologist says. Pls download the audiobook Safe Infant Sleep by Dr James McKenna, has some valuable insights on what babies need. And follow HappyCoSleeper on instagram she has some great information. More than half the world would never think of having their babies sleep in a different room or surface l for the first few years.

It’s only the west that obsesses over the concept of independence before babies are ready for it. Your message is thought provoking and made me reflect deeply. Thanks for sharing. Hopefully you find the resources I’ve shared useful to make the right choice for you, baby and family.

Try breastfeeding/ keep him in your room