Marriage

Hi all Me and my husband have a 7m old boy we agreed to sleep in separate rooms due to his snoring work etc and disrupts my sleep waking in between feeds and sometimes wakes up baby too. My baby wakes 3-4 times in a night and sometimes is awake for 1-2 hours I think because of teething etc. My husband wakes for work around 5.45 and thinks it’s ok to come in wake me and want sex I say no you woke me etc and he still continues and continues to the point baby woke! its happened a few occasions and I explained it annoys me a lot but he still continues , our sex life has gone down hill since giving birth which is expected but I don’t understand his thinking. He says we’re married and I shouldn’t get angry if he wakes me up sometimes. Just fed up at the moment mums!

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At 7 months post partum I was in no mood to have sex. I would try every now and then to do it for the sake of my husband and we would have to use lots of lube. I explained to my husband my body went through a lot and I don't have a drive for sex anymore. We would do it once a week. I am now 3 years postpartum and it's getting better but it's still hard. I am tired and overstimulated most of the time

I try my best to make sure hubs gets attention before sleep time 💁

That’s just rude. I’d be telling him to go jerk off, I need sleep. He needs to recognize that you’re getting less sleep than him and you’re not gonna wake up in the mood. Being married has nothing to do with being woken up. Idk how that math works in his brain. He should put some effort in at an appropriate time. Not just hey wake up and fuck me because I’m your husband. Like wtf

What I personally do is my husband has to make an "appointment" if I don't feel like it. That way I can mentally and physically prepare myself. My husband typically respects that.

we scheduled like 2 nights a week to do it just so we both know and can get in the mood, takes the stress/pressure off the both of us and we get more excited about it then just something to do,, sometimes i’m not in the mood at all and we use toys so we are still intimate together because if im not the one to sleep with my husband for weeks on end someone else might and i can’t deal with that lol

He’s wrong for not being considerate of your feelings. An overtired mom can be a danger to the baby. Put it to him like that. What if you are so tired u pass out and can’t make sure the baby is safe? Maybe then he’ll care. Personally I wish I had ur problem tho. My husband refuses to touch me.

@Alexis I know right. He says we’re married and the mornings is the most convenient time as evenings I’m tired he’s tired… but mornings I’m still tired and sleeping at that time

@Kacey really why? Marriage and relationships change after birth I think I’m unsure why but I feel with me there’s a lot of resentment

@Jenni oh really? Good idea but I’m unsure if it’s post Partum but I just don’t feel to have sex at all intimacy is gone I’m breastfeeding also so maybe it’s that too

@Sarah my sex drive has just gone to be honest im thinking is it post partum

@Savitrie I thought it was just me! And I do the exactly the same my sex drive is no. Existence and I’m breastfeeding also I’m unsure if that takes a toll too. Mine isn’t even once a week maybe every two weeks plus and even then I try to avoid.

@Lyss do you ever respond with anything that doesn't include the word narcissist/narcissism?

@Rachel yes I do when it doesn’t apply. Or if it doesn’t apply and I have nothing to say I just scroll. But I like to educate about narcissism so when I see the potential red flags for it I say something just in case it applies. Because education on narcissism can be life changing. My autism can see the patterns of narcissistic abuse. A lot of people getting abused by narcissists have very similar stories and key phases they use. So the patterns are easy for me to see.