One Perfect Child syndrome

I’m just frustrated. My big sister had her first baby a few months ago and I’m doing everything I can to be supportive to her. But… all I hear is how “easy this is” or how could anyone complain. Even her brith was very short and and intervention free (no stitches she’s lucky 🥲) My first was a very traumatic experience; very long labor, nurses freaking out, 2nd degree tear, colicky newborn, baby that never slept, was alone for the newborn stage (death in the family). My second was a lot smoother but 1-2 come with different challenges Im glad she’s not having a traumatizing experience for her but im also getting tired of hearing how easy things are.

Show your support

We all have our struggles, she just hasn't found hers yet

I definitely felt pressure to say everything was wonderful and perfect when people asked but deep down I was tired and struggling and needed a hug

Lol, I had an easy newborn, too (my birth was a c section, so a bit more stressful, but still a fairly positive experience). I remember the smug feeling that came with having an easy newborn and a good sleeper and eater who rarely cried. You think you must be just that good a parent. And you always end up eating crow, whether that's at 4 months, 6 months, 8 months, 14 months, or 12 years. She thinks it's easy now because she hasn't been in the trenches more than a couple of months. Give it time. She'll get it when she's getting smacked around by a toddler with attitude or fighting with her school-aged kid about homework.

I felt like this with my SIL! My first was a very traumatic birth (I bled out, bruised my tailbone horribly, and tore) and my baby ended up in the NICU 12 days and on oxygen for 3 months plus she was terrible at sleep. Now we’ve both had our second and she has a colicky baby while I had the easiest birth ever and a very content newborn

I'm so sorry… I know it must be incredibly hard to carry all of that. Motherhood often forces you to put on a brave face, like everything is fine and effortless even when you’re struggling behind closed doors. The truth is, not everyone will understand what you’ve been through or what you’re still going through. And society has this unrealistic expectation that after giving birth, you should be glowing, grateful, and full of joy as if talking about how hard it really is makes you ungrateful or dramatic. So instead, we smile and say, “Everything is wonderful,” even when it’s not.

I absolutely hear you!!! My first born was without a HARD. She hated being put down, only co slept and I exclusively pumped for her. She's absolutely awesome but still have to put on a show for her. My best friend had a baby months after I did and she always said 'i got really lucky because she's a really easy baby' any time I complained. Like girl now is not the time to be throwing that at me. Like I never say stuff like that? She'd been trying to get pregnant for years and I never once said 'oh we got pregnant a few months of trying, it was easy'. Like feels shitty to hear right? So we both were trying to get pregnant again and BAM I got pregnant the first time we tried again! Did I rub it in her face? NO. Do I keep saying 'Oh I have an easy second baby'. YES. I needed ONE happy easy baby that just chills and voila here he is. But boy did I have to hear that for a whole two years. 'Oh I get to watch shows with my husband after she sleeps', 'she plays by herself for hours!, 'i GOt REalLy LUckY' Girl bye.

I learned that some people find the newborn stage easy as hell. Then others find the toddler stage easy as fuck. But every baby is different. My birth was rough BUT newborn stage was, for me, easy. I also have a very very helpful and present wife. She's now 2 and I still find it pretty chill and easy. It's maintaining the home AND teaching her that I find challenging. But her? Easy. I hear that with baby #2 I'm going to struggle. We shall see. I heard he'll be feral 🤣

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌