Husband is mad I told the kids he was cheating

Tbh I don't think you've done anything wrong. As long as it wasn't done out of spite. You seem like you are incredibly strong, cheating is shit. If they're not happy why can't they just leave, exactly right what your son said. ❤️

I mean if he didn’t want the kids knowing he cheated shouldn’t have cheated 🤷‍♀️ I mean I get why he’s upset but he fucked up and these are the consequences. It’s not like your teenagers are not gonna ask questions or even speculate what had happened. Totally on your side with this one they deserve to know why there’s a sudden change going on

That’s none of their business. You could’ve easily said “mom and dad are just going through a rough patch right now. But that’s nothing you guys have to worry about”

@Zyan I disagree, the kids are old enough to understand and one is a literal adult.

@Tiffany you still need to have boundaries with your children in my opinion. I don’t need to know that my dad is having sex with another person, grown or not. That’s just not my business.

@Zyan I practice boundaries with my children but I think the eldest child at least can know 🤷

You did nothing wrong why let him also make you a liar because of his Shame?? No you did the right thing kids are not stupid and one way another truth comes out you don't deserve that burn. I love that you created such a safe space open family because you all are going to keep it that way and get the toxic out. I wish nothing for the best for you and your family its okay to feel down but do not let him take you out!! You guys deserve better someone who's not going to let you down. ❤️

@Tiffany 100% agree if your children are emotionally intelligent to understand what's going on ..it's wrong to lie to them IT IS 100% THEIR BUSINESS it affects them it changes their life 100000% @zyan I think it's incredibly wrong to keep it from them you can have boundaries we aren't talking about sex ..it way bigger than that and this is something that is going to change EVERYTHING you can't just slap a none of your business on that.

@Zyan we do have boundaries with certain things but like i said we are all very ppen with eachother. & it wasn't just sex. It's a whole affair that affects everyone. We're not going through a rough patch we are divorcing bc im not staying with a cheater. Now if I gave them details then that'll obviously be too much. But I believe my children do have a right to lnow why their lives are going to change. Divorce is hard on everyone especially kids. I want to be honest. All I told them was that he was unfaithful. They have more questions as to who & why but those are questions they have to ask their father.

In this scenario and the way you explained it, I think they should know. You are planning to divorce and that's something very heavy that will impact the entire family and they will eventually find out. There is a lesson they can all learn from this and if it remains hidden from them they will potentially blame themselves for the divorce or always wonder why. Hopefully one day soon he can sit them down and explain how sorry he is that he broke up your family and that it's absolutely not their fault and what lesson they can take from it. He can at least be a man in that way. Now, if you were planning on staying and working on things, that's different. I would focus on that first before deciding if it's right to tell them. But it seems you made up your mind. And I'm sorry he did this to you but you are doing the right thing moving forward.

Good on you! They are old enough to know and it is 100% their business because they still live under your roof and are impacted by his infidelity. Why should you hide his secret and lie to your children for him! This level of honesty and transparency shows them you respect them enough to let them know and also teaches them to be accountable, honest and hopefully loyal partners when they are in their own marriages/relationships in the future. Well done! It couldn’t have been easy!

I don't know, growing up my mom very honest about my dad cheating, this made me feel emotionally responsible which has not been positive for me and affected my relationships, I did not realised the effect of this until now I have a child I discovered that your child is not meant to be your friend because it creates a burden in their minds and makes them "pick sides" which long term is not good for the children. I agree with @Zyan and please note my thoughts are not about protecting your husband he has failed you and I'm sorry he chose to do this rather than do the right thing and ask for the divorce before going to be with someone else, but I think keeping the children out of your personal problems is best for their wellbeing. I cut off my dad since I was 14, as I took her side but wonder what could have been, he did not cheat on me, he cheated on her as much as that sucks I wish I was not involved as I grew up with so much resentment. Wish therapy and counselling was as available for my parents as it is now.

@Amy Im sorry you felt like that. I definitely don't want my kids to pick sides bc we are both still their parents. & i made it clear that yes they can be upset with their father bc its a normal emotion, but he is still their father & he has been good to them so respecting him isn't a choice. I dont want them to resent him ethier. I'm not sure which route he is going to take bc he doesn't want to divorce & I dont want things to get messy & hes alreadymakingthings harder than they need to be. That's why I wanted to be as open & as honest as we usually are as a family. I've mentioned family counseling so it could help the kids even though I'm still divorcing him. Hes not going for it so just getting regular counseling for the kids.

@Zyan Agree 100%

That is a shame that he does not want to join the family counselling. It is such a hard situation for you as a mother and wife. I hope you can recover from the hurt and pain that this affair has caused.

It’s amazing that you all can have such open conversations at your home. I feel like you did right by them, they needed to know. 🫶🏽 Good luck with everything!

I applaud you, honesty is the way forward because I guarantee you children will here mumbles in the home outside, being open with them gives them a forum to vent and ask questions. As a child who grew up in a closed home I overheard a lot of adult content and I've carried it around to this day, as a child it was confusing and hurtful to manage those feelings alone.