How much would you charge your BD to watch the kids while he’s working during his days?

Ngl this sounds really messed up. Charging to watch your own children? You’re still sharing a home.

I mean… he’s paying rent, bills, groceries. Keeping a roof over your head and your children’s, lights on, and food in all your bellys. You also want him to pay you to watch your own children so he can go to work and be able to pay for those things you need and use? Solution.. get a job, put the kids in daycare, and split everything 50/50. You’re asking way too much here imo.

I mean, if he didn't work how are you paying for rent, bills and groceries? Are you working currently if he has them 3 days a week?

I mean, If he's paying for rent, bills, groceries, aswell as equally sharing childcare responsibilities then I'd just take it as a win that you don't have to pay babysitter money? You say if you didn't watch them while he worked, you'd have to pay babysitter money. Doesn't that also work vice versa. Do you work also? If so what does your money go towards, if not the kids?

All I can say is, imagine reading a post where baby daddy wants money to watch the kids and doesn’t pay bills that you’re already paying all of. I think the answer would be no, they’re your kids gotta try to figure a way to make money another way mama

If you guys lived entirely separately and both were financially independent I could understand this kinda but yeah no 😂

This makes no sense to me.

You rely on him to pay your share of the bills when he doesn’t have to? I would say the least you can do is look after your own kids without payment whilst he works. If you paid your half of the bills he probably could cut down those hours…. Sorry probably not the answer you are looking for

So he’s a babysitter and dad at the same time????????? I don’t know yall…moms and dads (in my opinion) aren’t babysitters. It’s called being a parent and taking care of responsibilities.

WTF…

They’re your children. That’s literally your job to look after them

@Mama A !!!!

Can I come an live with him?

I'm confused on so many accounts, but how're you splitting who has the kids if you guys live together? You guys just don't go around your kids on off days or what?

Yall are completely misunderstanding. He agreed to the schedule but does NOT follow it. Hes not watching the kids during his time because he works. I cant work because of his schedule. If he would actually have the kids during his days(or find a sitter for his days) I would happily work any job. Im trying to get a side business going but he doesnt watch them when he works period. Doesnt matter if hes there early or goes in late. He spends less than 25% of his time with his kids on his days and often goes days without seeing them. So essentially its just me watching my kids, nothing changing other than him not getting benefits of me. He also doesnt want me finding a job because he doesnt want to use a babysitter. He uses me as his babysitter. I think I should be paid considering he wont let me make money myself. I would have to have money first to pay a sitter before getting a job myself and where we live, I would literally pay more for a sitter than I could make an hour starting out.

I can’t believe that a couple who live together and are in a relationship together, with children together are playing tittle tattle with ‘his’ days and ‘my’ days. That’s crazy to me, can’t you just be adults and work out a schedule that works for everybody, that’s what most couples do, no need for money to be involved 😬

@Lisa oh heck no, definitely not together anymore. Not married. Unfortunately no, hes a gigantic man child and wont hold much of an actual conversation. He makes empty promises. If I had family or resources then I would use them but unfortunately its just me and our kids.

You want to leave? Then YOU have to figure it out. Move out with family if you have or into a shelter and collect benefits until you get your shit together. The state will give you daycare for free, ebt, etc while you get a job. File motion with the court to have visitation figured out legally. What he’ll do with the kids on his time as far as babysitters is his business. If you’re not ready to go that far, then you really don’t want to leave that bad: You’re not ready to do what it takes to be a single mom. Right now I’d count your blessings because he’s paying for all the bills in the house, the children, and for you, even though you’re leaving him. Not saying he’s this all so amazing person, but overall he’s doing much more than any man in his position would. I’d count them blessings.

If that's the case what makes you think he's going to pay you to look after them and stick to it? Sounds like he'll probably agree and then not pay you and you're still ending up in the same position. If you're not together, you need to come up with a plan to actually leave as and when possible and get an actual parenting plan in place.

Why are you still living together if you're NOT together? Move out and put your kids in daycare so that you can work

This has to be rage bait lol

Nobody has to pay me to care for my children. You can't "babysit" ur own babies.

@Olivia I swear I don't do the long messages because i just never know! 💯💅🏽

You want him to work and watch the children? Work is work even if it’s from home. You cannot do both, even if you’re home you should still have childcare. Remote jobs specifically say you cannot work and take care of kids.

Pay you to PARENT your own kids ?!?! Am I reading this correctly ? You want to be paid to be a MOTHER ….. you gotta be joking

Just have him pay the same amount you pay him when he has to 'babysit' on your days.

I cannot laugh hard enough at this. They are your kids. You are insane to want to payment.

Girl if yall aren’t together. And you’re unable to work because he doesn’t take his time/days to watch the kids.. I would recommend leaving that worry to him. Get a job, get your finances in order, and have him pay an actual sitter to watch the kids on his time. You need to work as well especially if y’all aren’t together and you’re no longer wanting to be within the same household as him anymore. It’s almost like you’re feeling stuck. Get a job, sit down with him to find a sitter, he pays sitter for his time he’s suppose to have kids and you pay sitter for the time you’re suppose to have kids. And as for him paying all the bills.. come to an agreement on a payment plan to him.. because honestly that part is nice of him.. he doesn’t have to allow you to stay but he does.. but I understand you’re feeling stuck in a household and can’t get out because he puts all the kids responsibilities onto you. You are encouraging him to have you in this position.

As for him paying you to watch your kids, ya no. Not when he already pays the bills in the house you live in too. You need to cut yourself off from his money and make your own out in the world. Not trying to be rude.

But he has to work because he’s paying for you?? So if you don’t want to be a stay at home mom that’s fine but it’s up to you to move out, be independent and then you will have a job and yes you will both have to find and pay for childcare- but surely you don’t expect him to pay all your bills, feed you and house you and not expect anything in return??

Ok, so your explanation does kind of make more sense BUT if he is working on "his" days then the schedule isn't working at all. The days either to change to days he isn't working or he needs to find alternative childcare for those days and pay for it Like every other family does. You absolutely cannot be expected to be paid to parent your own child. If you just went and got a job for "his" days then he wouldn't have a choice.

I don’t think you want him to pay you I think you want access to the bank account. think bigger ✨

Hear me out she could be onto something......... I would be a millionaire by now 3 kids....24hours a day for 36months equals a load of crap sorry. Honestly! I'd tell you BD pay daycare fees just to be petty because the audacity is sky high!

They're your children who came out of your vagina and his sperm. No one should be getting paid. You need to work when he gets off. I work from 5 pm to 11 pm thrusday through Sunday, and my fiance works 5 days a week, 8 am - 5 pm. If he gets home late, family watches them till he gets off. You two need to come up with a schedule so you can both work. Or here's a great idea. You both work and put them in daycare. And if you're in the US. Most places have daycare vouchers that will either pay for it all together or some of it. Most states have resources you can use to help you work. Also, you can try working at a daycare that will let your kids come to. Stop worrying about being paid for being a mother. And worry about finding a way for you to work. My fiance isn't even off Saturdays. He's only off Sunday and Tuesdays. And I don't even pay him anything. If you're not together, leave. Again, there are state resources you can use to help you.

15 dols per hour is good IMO since they are your kids as well. What state do you live in?