Think I'm checked out of longterm marriage..

Don't do anything while you're pregnant.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like you’re doing a great job not just with the house but with your daughter. I know hormones are in full effect but it doesn’t excuse his wrong doings and his disrespect. I think it might help if you write down all the things that bother you and you want to tell him but don’t share it and after you deliver and recover if you feel the same than hopefully you can make a clear decision of what you want to do. Also pray there’s nothing that Jesus can’t fix❤️

So sorry to hear this and more so because you are pregnant as well. I went through this and it also took 9 years to say enough is enough with a verbally abusive and unhealthy relationship with the father of my two kids. I did leave, I got help from family and things started to fall into place along with feeling like myself again out of that relationship. It’s not impossible, it is hard but it’s worth it for your own sanity and the well being of your kids as well. I was very depressed in that relationship and I found a way to work on myself after since I had more time not busy taking care of him as well as the kids and everything else expected of a woman/wife while all the man has to do is supposedly just work. People like this don’t change unfortunately. You are not alone, there is hope and a solution 🩷

Do you have family nearby or someone you can stay with for a few days? I agree that you shouldn't make any big decisions while pregnant but that doesn't mean you can't try to give him a wakeup call by leaving him in his own home to clean up and cook and take care of himself a few days

Thanking every one of you. You have no idea how much it means I'm not alone in this area. It's hard, it's embarrassing to think I've gone this long. I think I'll definitely go stay with my grandma & dad for an entire weekend. I'm sure they'll catch on lol but everyone as far as our close friends/ family all think we are this super amazing sweet endearing family. & behind my safe home we've cultivated, just from 3 years of being parents with our first.. it's been non stop attitude, snide comments, annoyed tone, never is he sweet or nice.. & I fucking can't do it anymore lol. I think about how different it was for such a long time for us. But again I do fear he's fallen out with me but doesn't want to admit that either. Nor face that if that makes sense.. I'd much rather peel the bandaid off and see if we should separate. It's just such a tough spot to be in. I'll be okay financially, I'll be able to either live with 3 close family no issue (they have no idea lol, but I'm supported.) Tysm 😢❤️ so done.

That sounds awful, I would be blunt and ask him if he would prefer you carry heavy laundry up the stairs that could potentially risk the pregnancy. I would also start looking at another birth partner because it sounds like if your are concerned about anything you may be told your exaggerating and be refused to be taken hospital etc. He doesn’t sound like someone who should be a next of Kin, I couldn’t imagine someone like this being asked to make medical decisions if I’m unable. I would let close family know, as you should prepare to have no help after baby is born, and also if you placenta doesn’t shift it C Section, and how will he be when you physically can’t do anything for 6-8 weeks except care for your baby.

He's still asleep soundly because sleeping in for him is 10am wake time, I got up 7:15am with our almost kindergarten age daughter.. you know had to enroll her/ talk to Superintendent of the school she will go to in September lol, on top of my high risk ob visit, separate prenatal visit with 2nd baby on the way. I've now cleaned the entire house from his family leaving trash everywhere, not a joke because his young nieces and nephews aren't responsible for anything in life lol, love them but not how I raise my kids. & now me & our daughter are packed & going to my dad's/ grandma's house 20 min away. I'm not waking him. I've left a note by his night stand. "I don't know how to reiterate to you that it doesn't feel you truly love me anymore. Me & your daughter will be gone until Monday night so we can both sort our feelings. If this isn't a clear message I refuse to be treated the way you speak to me on a daily basis- God bless you, I won't stay. I'm done -his name" I've slept on it from yesterday

I've felt this hurt and anger and pain for 2 years now & especially this pregnancy we tried so hard for.. I refuse to bring 2nd baby into this. We don't fight in front of our 1st it's a lot of low tone bicker, silent remarks/ snide comments, IM DONE. Jesus. Last night his friends were over he was mad I went to our bedroom. He was mad I didn't want to leave my bed with his family over. "You're really gonna make it all about you on my birthday?" No dude, I've fucking told you for 2 years I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't be treated this way.. my dad did this exact thing to my mom & she stayed 14 too long years. I won't be the same. Idk how ill feel Monday but for now I've blocked him on text & call & deactivated my fb so he / his family cannot bother me. I'm done! & idk how else to express that lol but thank you to all the advice and wisdom/ experience above. I've been crying before wondering what it's going to be like with this baby- I REFUSE. I WONT with him in the picture. He can be a good dad

He's an amazing dad!! But he can't balance bring a loving partner & I'm so fucking disgusted by him. I'm completely drained, exhausted, exasperated by his tones/ attitude alone. Never has he ever hurt me physically but nope. This is enough. He can find a new girl & learn from her that he's a piece of shit currently if he so chooses to date someone. I just hope this time away no contact gives us both the answer we need. He tried saying sorry when I was asleep, dead asleep.. I punched him in his mouth protecting the baby in my half awake state. My body is done with him, my mind is tired of trying to pretend we are a happy family & it's just prevalent in how I react when exhausted.

Like saying sorry is nothing if you don't change your disgusting behavior.. right? Am I crazy?

Not crazy at all, and I’m so glad you are able to go to family even if they don’t know and maybe will start to become aware I’m sure they will be supportive. Definitely talk to them as well, sometimes they surprise us by the advice they give when we need it most. Your body is definitely telling you something is not right and before it escalates into more serious things happening or harmful things, it’s good to take a step away from things even for a weekend. I wouldn’t expect everything to be resolved though in just one weekend, you’ll really want to at least unplug fully for yourself and at some point start thinking about what exactly you need and want, you’ll have to communicate this to him eventually. I think writing it all down really helps for these situations so it gives you time to think on it and process it rephrase or add things so you know what exactly you are trying to communicate to him. Also, promises of changes could be said but I’d definitely still take your time as…

Most just say things to try to fix things in the moment but go right back to doing the same things. If it takes you leaving every weekend for the time being then so be it, you can have him watch the kids one weekend and you go away to parents for the weekend. Kind of like coparenting so he gets his time with the kids and takes responsibility as well while you still get a break to keep figuring things out. It’s all possible, hoping for the best for you and your family.