tell me it gets better…

just a very pregnant momma with a very rambunctious 3 year old. I know they call it the terrible two’s / terrible three’s for a reason, but please tell me it gets better 😭 I swear all my son does is find the most ways to be chaotic intentionally, and I mean he’s so thorough 😮‍💨 he starts to hit me, I redirect it to high fives which he moves on quickly to jumping on me, I redirect to wrestling with him for 20 mins and when he realizes he’s not in trouble yet he runs for the cats to squish them and pull their tails. it’s like if I give him an outlet to safely “act out” he rejects it purposefully. don’t tell me he’s not capable of this malicious intent, y’all don’t know my kid like I do lol the stare in his eyes when he challenges me when he knows he’s doing something bad 😂😭 it’s funny when I reflect back but not in the moment and it’s seriously every ten minutes. every day. for months now. either him acting out physically or wrecking the house to his pleasure, slamming things into walls, climbing the counters to push stuff off, throwing toys, the list is endless… just please… please tell me it gets better. please tell me he will play by himself again and not be so clingy—but in a non-negative/violent way… please tell me any suggestions as well to helping this in the house. when we are outside or busy before 3pm then it’s usually a good day but it’s just so hard for me to burn myself out being busy out of the house *every* morning-afternoon to then KNOW for certain without fail he’s always a gremlin from 3pm on… and for the record, I don’t spank, I “gentle parent” but I’m not a pushover, I have firm no’s, we do timeouts to calm down his body and I am on his level nonstop throughout the day. i play with him, encourage him to do independent play, do crafts with him and read books, limit screen time, and include him in the things I do like cooking and laundry. he used to be “good” but he’s changed. I know I signed up for this when I decided to have kids, and maybe it’s just the 35 weeks pregnant part of me that’s venting here… but my siblings were never this way and neither were my friends kids or siblings… maybe it’s cause he’s an only child for now and we don’t have unlimited access to socialization since there’s no “villiage” for us like we had growing up. idk. I’m open to theories, all I do during my sleepless nights is figure out why we struggle so much and how to fix it. pic for attention

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Honestly if it makes you feel better my child is 14 months and is an absolute hellion god knows I love her to death but I don’t have NEARLY the amount of energy she has at any given moment. Just a few days ago she headbutted me in the throat and I just sat there like how and why. It’s exhausting if we don’t go out and get her a car nap in the morning she will REFUSE to take a nap and stand by the door even if it’s raining, sleeting, snowing, anything.

I am also finding that my mothering journey has been mostly a battle. I have a 2 year old girl. We are concerned that she may be autistic/adhd though. She hit all her milestones early and is such a clever little girl which has meant that professionals haven’t flagged any issues with her yet. I know that she is different and this level constant meltdowns and intense behaviours are not the norm. Unfortunately it does run in my family and I now believe that I have ADHD, although never diagnosed.

@Tiffany it def runs in my family so I wouldn’t be surprised, but they truly are so gosh dang smart it’s scary too. I’m blessed but it’s so so tough. it’s like when my son was younger he did stuff because he “didn’t know better” but now he DOES know better and chooses it anyway, or enhances the negative even. I just hope soon he matures enough to realize that the desired emotion between us is supposed to be positive, not connecting over the negative cause that’s not connecting… lol he still tries tho now that I think about it, he’ll get a consequence, be sad, then try and snuggle me and tell me to not do <whatever he was doing> and I’m like YES but YOU need to, I haven’t done anything wrong ! and he’s like yes mommy but still like it was my fault in his head or something 💀

Oh gosh this sounds exactly like my daughter. She is an amazing girl, insanely smart but right around 3.5 she's turned into a little demon. I have a 7 month old, and I knew there'd be some adjustment period with her being jealous and all that, but it's been BAD lately. I'll ask her to stop doing something and she'll look me dead in the eye and keep doing it. She's constantly endangering her brother by being crazy with her body near him. Throwing fits over the dumbest stuff. The threenager stage is ROUGH. She behaves great for other family members and when we're out in public, it's just at home that she's a terror and it's killing me because I also work from home. I have zero solutions to offer but just here for solidarity!

Possibly a cocktail of age and limit testing, along with knowing you're pregnant and that something will be changing very soon... Have you tried being very blunt with him, as in speaking in an almost adult way that you simply don't like the 'named' poor behaviour? It might sound harsh or even counterintuitive but it's clear, open, pure honesty. Kind of like how toddlers are very blunt with one another and don't spare each others feelings - then you suggest others positive ways he can get your attention or express himself. How is his speech? Let him know that you love him "all the time" - literally try the words, you love him when he/you are happy, sad, angry, baby or no baby etc. He might be seeking reassurance and not be equipped to express his anxieties or irritation in a healthier way. Also have you spoken openly about the baby and what will happen when they arrive - the good, the bad, the ugly?

I was a daycare lead for ages 2/3 and I think age 2 is the GOLDEN age where they can understand rules and communication but then they get sassy at age 3 again. Our son will be 2 when our 2nd is born

@Ashleigh yes I speak lots of different ways with him and none really seem to stick, some situations work while others don’t. his speech is pretty solid, he communicates clearly—he has developed a stutter over the last few weeks and he mostly stutters when he’s yelling at me or having big feelings, which makes sense. yes we’ve talked about the baby, he doesn’t seem too interested in having convos about it unless it links to something else he relates to. he asks me to talk about lots of things but he doesn’t ask about when the baby comes

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