Anyone else feel like this?
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@Melissa guess you need to write your husband a bill for all the overtime you do 🙄 My husband does acknowledge the work I do, and understands that it is a lot but he fails to understand how mentally draining it can be. Like the part where your mind is constantly working because of all the stuff you need to keep track of but at the same time you’re not really mentally challenged. But you also don’t have time to do anything that would challenge you 🙃
@Melissa hmm interesting. Glad i am not the only one that feels this way. I feel my husband makes it feel like i complain about my son taking up all my time
Oh, I had to tell my husband how many hours I worked per day then tell him how many full time jobs it was equivalent to before he understood. Like dude me ONLY watching the kid while you are at work is equal to one full-time job...but I do so much more than that for so many more hours.
@Eileen yes exactly! Like the mental draining part is what i feel they don’t understand and that affects u physically
I’ve definitely noticed my husband would help out around the house more when I worked but now that I am a SAHM he doesn’t lift a finger around here.
@Jackie hmm that’s understandable cause he is the sole provider working. My husband helps less too with household and with my son. It may be time to go back to working so they can help out more 😂😩
@Vanessa I get it he’s the sole provider but being a SAHM is also a full time job. They wouldn’t be able to last a few days in our shoes! It’s also mentally draining. We don’t clock out like they do. We work 24 hours lbs I do things to make his life easier. Make sure his clothes are clean , make him breakfast before work & make his lunch etc. so they can do the dishes at minimum after we cook our family dinner. Or make the bed in the morning here and there. Or pick up some toys you see laying on the floor instead of just stepping over them. 🤦🏼♀️
@Jackie yes it’s definitely a fulltime job and we don’t get to clock out until they go to sleep. Yea they don’t get it. One time i went on a girls trip and left him with my husband for a couple days. He said it was challenging while working from home with him but he said it wasn’t bad. I feel like kids act different around their Dad too and listen or behave more. They test us Mothers more when we are with them.
I just think the life is not fair to women. My opinion, no matter what, man will just never understand what we go through.
It’s more than a full time job 😂. I once saw it explained like: You are working all day, across all fields & levels of responsibility. You are the CEO (making decisions, setting directions), the janitor, a chef, a server, the secretary (planning, setting appointments etc), the event planner, a teacher, tour guide & emotional counselor. On top of that immense workload, it’s just expected. And if any one part goes un-done you get blamed 😂. Like for real when was the last time you cleaned this floor? 🤣🤣😅😭
It is exhausting and I personally don't even do many chores 😂 As a stay at home mum, my "job" is taking care of, nourishing, and developing my children. Not household duties. We share household chores and do what we can between us. I take care of the children pretty much 24/7 so it's only fair he pulls his weight with chores when he's not "at work" as I'm always "at work".
I have been both a FT working mum and a SAHM, it is definitely NOT the same thing. When I'm at home I can take my time doing what I need to do and can take as many breaks as I want, that's not the case when I'm at work!
Being a SAHM is working a job you never get to clock out of lol like you are on shift/on call 24/7!!!! I’m convinced that the men that don’t understand it are the men who dont value us. There are men out there who get it…. Then theres men who belittle it. The belittlers are more common than the other kind unfortunately lol
@Rebecca OMG SAMEEEE!!!! I literally work a remote job & raise my Toddler. Its hard AF!!!! And it pisses me off when I’m belittled or told how I can do xyz better because I just have to make more sense of how I plan my day and take advantage of my breaks lol like STFU SIR 😂
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Not tripping! I don’t feel like most men value the importance of being a stay at home mom. Google the average “cost” of being a stay at home mom. It added up so much to how much you would actually be getting paid for the childcare, being a personal chef for the family, chauffeur, maid, laundry service, event coordinator, and the list goes on. I think the total added up to over 200k when we took a look and added it all up. So yeah we are valuable. It’s like bc we can’t show all the hours and pay, it’s not shit to them.
@Vanessa yes! I’ve heard that when kids feel safest they act up some what bc they are comfortable and when it’s a new or different situation they act differently! I hate how much my partner loses his cool and yells. It’s just so much!
I don't envy my husband. He's works long hours, and has total financial responsibility and burden. Being a SAHM is easier than my career was but it's still exhausting but I'm completely cared for. I have one of his credit cards I can use at my leisure and I don't even have to worry about getting my car's oil changed. But my husband is SO supportive, loving and understanding too
Preaching to the choir 🙌🏽
Actually it’s not the same! Not only that we don’t get paid buttt we don’t get a coffee break, an uninterrupted toilet break, a lunch break where we can chew & taste our food rather then inhale it, an afternoon break, adults to chat with, a quiet commute home hmmm ohhh & let’s not forget that they can clock off where your job is 24 hours on call !!! There’s no clocking off after 8 hours work! Oh & there’s no overtime pay either!
Look up “mother day job interview” and send to your husband https://youtu.be/jyMZ_LOVcvo?si=OnekF5qot0gWL3_p
@Tiffany I love this for youuuu ❤️❤️ sounds like you have a supportive, loving, provider!! They dont rly Make men like that anymore lol
My husband has the privilege of being able to financially support us. We have a joint bank account as well as credit cards that of course I can use to my leisure. My husband changes my oil too as well. He doesn’t think it makes sense for us to pay for an oil change if he knows how to do them himself. He also puts gas in my car and air in my tires if needed. He’s also loving and supportive. But I still want some help around the house when he can 🤷🏼♀️ Oh and most importantly I DO NOT ENVY MY HUSBAND. I LOVE MY HUSBAND ☺️ He’s very well taken care of at home.
@Tiffany that’s great! My husband does the same too takes care of everything for me in that aspect as well which I appreciate so much! Idk i guess i just wish we got more breaks as a SAHM
@Vanessa I agree. I can leave our children with my husband and take time for myself but I don't give myself "breaks" in the sense that I just don't WANT to be away from my kids long, never leave them with mil or baby-sat and when it comes to asking for help with Housework I just don't because I'd rather do it myself (even when I don't if that makes sense). My husband asks me to let him do more and I'm getting better about that but I'm also 6mo pregnant lol. I'm used to doing everything on my own. It's LETTING people help me, I suck at. But yeah, sometimes I get frustrated for a moment or two
No pay? My husband's gives me free range of one of his credit cards. This technically pays better than my career did me, if you include mortgage, car payments, insurance etc. I just love feeling taken care of and appreciated.
@Tiffany yea it’s hard to really take the action to get more breaks. My husband will watch my son if I needed a break I also have my Mom she still works so doesn’t have much time to take care of him only some weekends. With housework I do majority to remove burden off him but he also does housework too like vacuum, clean bathroom sometimes. I am also used to doing things on my own when it comes to caretaking with my son but I have found that if I don’t ask I get burnt out
@Tiffany that’s great a credit card he gives u, whatever works for your
You are definitly not tripping girl. My husband and I have had many disagreements on this recently! He seems to be able to spend whatever and I'm limited... and he says this is because he works overtime so he should get a bonus when it comes to each other's spending money...