A very tired mama

It's probably sleep regression. I highly recommend gentle sleep training, it worked wonders for me. Basically what it does is teach them to self soothe, because the 4 ish month sleep regression happens because they can't connect their rem cycles yet

The gentler the method, the longer it takes for results but being consistent is key, and making sure you figure out what works best with your baby's temperament

Is it also possible she's teething? That can disturb sleep as well

I did gentle sleep training with my son, starting around 3.5 months because that's when his sleep regression hit. I wouldn't have made it this far without it (he's almost 10 months now). In doing training, he's learned how to self soothe, so when he wakes at night between rem cycles, he puts himself back to sleep unless he truly needs something (hungry, pooped, or stuffy if he's sick). Before his regression, he slept 7, then 5 hours at night, then suddenly he would sleep for 2, spend 1 hour awake crying with me, then repeat all night. Now, he'll go up to 10-12 hours at night before he gets up to eat. In training and aging we've also had to adjust his bedtime, he goes to bed around 8 pm and gets up around 7, sometimes goes to bed and gets up a bit earlier.

Hey love, she’s still so tiny, and it’s not safe for her to sleep in a separate room just yet. Doctors usually recommend keeping babies close for at least their first year. She needs you so much right now. And if it ever feels too heavy, please don’t carry it alone — ask for help whenever you need it. You’re doing such a beautiful, important thing.

Is she cold maybe?

What is the schedule for waking, naps and bedtime?? May be that a tweak is needed.

@Kai how did you do the training?

@Gemma by myself at home after doing a ton of research about gentle training methods. For his temperament, we ended up having to use the pick up put down technique. Killed my back but worked. Wanted to try ferber but doesn't work for his temperament, he wouldn't settle without being held. I did a lot of research before trying anything because before having a baby the only method I knew was cry it out and both my husband and I absolutely did not want to do that and stress out him or us.

@Kai Thank you! Maybe I’ll give this a try, is there a schedule that you stuck too for the gentle sleep training?

@Jennie I popped some socks on her after her 2nd wake, it didn’t make a difference! The room was 19° and she slept in a short sleeve vest with a long sleeve babygrow, 2.5 tog grow bag x

@Kate Thank you for letting me know 🫶🏻 I think in the UK they really press on for around 6 months, not sure why. I do love my contact naps with her, they are the absolute best x

@Katie i was consistent with the bedtime routine, then depending in the method you just have to go with the flow until they figure it out. For my son, I'd set him down, leave the room, then sit outside and when he cried, go back in and pick him up, settle him, put him back down. If he cried immediately I'd pick him up for a bit longer before I set him back and left again. It took a week maybe with that method for him to figure it out but once he did it was amazing

I'll link some sites I used for research purposes, I will say i skipped most of the text in the articles and looked only at the different methods and how they work. https://www.sleepfoundation.org/baby-sleep/4-month-sleep-regression#:~:text=At%204%20months%2C%20a%20baby's,and%20habits%20for%20their%20baby. https://first-time-mom.com/sleep/understanding-sleep-training-ferber-cry-it-out-and-gentle-approaches/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw4Oe4BhCcARIsADQ0cslL1QJIqfg2w4_Kfc6yHPgVbFhdibFBRQJWtdHJN6Uv5X-Kay0NU5AaAvnsEALw_wcB https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/5-baby-sleep-training-methods-explained/

Here's some more research and articles I found this last one actually also has links to the studies done showing that there is no harm sleep training (in the methods used in the study) https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/07/15/730339536/sleep-training-truths-what-science-can-and-cant-tell-us-about-crying-it-out https://www.alittlesleep.com/blog/research-and-sleep-training

Some more good sites with information about different sleep training techniques https://www.sleepfoundation.org/baby-sleep/sleep-training https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/sleep/sleep-training-baby/ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/when-and-how-to-sleep-train-your-baby https://www.themotherbabycenter.org/blog/2023/07/sleep-training-methods/

The big thing is being consistent, but learning when to switch it up when something happens like baby is sick or teething. Not all methods work for all babies, or at all times. With my son we started with pick up put down, then when he got older, he no longer wants to be held, but camping out doesn't work either, so we switched to a modified Ferber, we leave, he cries max 5 minutes, then we go back in, resettle, repeat, if have to repeat again then crying increases to 10 minutes. I also know his different cries, so when he pain cries, we check his gums and usually give Tylenol for his teething. At this point he's currently having some separation anxiety from me, so I put him down, leave, he cries for 1-2 minutes to see if he can convince me to come back, then sleeps on his own (unless he's overtired then it's a whole other story). Keep consistent, some methods take a couple weeks to see results. Essentially the gentler the method, the longer to see results.

@Natalie She wakes at 7am, bottle and then back down for a nap at 9/9.30am - she’ll then sleep for an hour and then have another wake window for 2-2.5 hours. This is then repeated throughout the day until 6pm where I prep for bed. This is bath, bottle and a story. Down for sleep at 7ish, so I think maybe make bedtime to start at 7? X

Why is self-soothing not recommended before the age of one? Ludmila Petranovskaya is a well-known Russian psychologist and an authoritative specialist in child psychology and attachment. In her book “The Secret Support: Attachment in a Child’s Life”, she explains why it is not advisable to teach babies to self-soothe before the age of one. Petranovskaya emphasizes that during this period, babies especially need emotional support and closeness with their parents. When a baby falls asleep alone, it may lead to feelings of anxiety and insecurity, disrupting their attachment and emotional well-being. According to Petranovskaya, it is important to be present with the baby during the process of falling asleep to strengthen their sense of security and support the development of healthy attachments. This approach helps the baby feel protected and confident, which is crucial for their emotional and psychological development in the long term.

If you are interested in attachment and parenting topics, I highly recommend reading Ludmila Petranovskaya’s book “The Secret Support”. This book offers valuable and practical advice on parenting and emotional support for children.

@Katie id definitely try pushing the last wake window closer to 3 hours (from nap to sleep) to give a chance for sleep pressure to build before bed. Also ideally you want the shortest wake window in the morning then gradually increase until the last one which is longest. Bedtime routine sounds a bit long too. If they are tired at the beginning of it then it takes an hour to do everything that causes overtired by bedtime.