Is “what time will you be home” a bad question to ask your husband or wife?

I don't think it's a bad question but if it's an everyday thing or the tone is off I can see how it might be taken as nagging or rushing them. My husband works from home so it's not something I deal with on a daily basis but if he's gone and will be coming back around dinner time I'll ask him when he thinks he'll be back so I can try to time things accordingly. He asks me too if I'm out. We both know it's just curiosity and planning our day around meals and the kids, not anything to do with rushing each other or nagging.

@Rachel I never ask him when he’s going to be home after work. He’s an electrician so I never know when he’s getting home but when he goes out with like his brother or friends, I ask when he’s gonna be home.

No I don't think that's bad at all. I'll always ask do you have an idea of when you'll be home, or what time do you plan on heading home.

I never ask my husband. He doesn’t go out hardly at all. If he does, he goes hunting or fishing. Depending on the time of day, I ask if he’ll be home for dinner so I know to order take out or not because I don’t cook lol He usually asks me though when I go out when I plan on being home. My answer is always “I’m not sure.” It all depends on what I’m doing or if I’m going out with someone else

Why would it be? My husband's hours change everyday and I like to know so I can plan dinner/finishing Housework

Honestly this question really annoys me. I’ll be home when I’m home.

It’s not bad per se. But I can’t answer that either 💁🏻‍♀️ sometimes we go somewhere after the place we booked for. Actually, 90% of the time we go somewhere else. Like last Friday karaoke w the girls was booked for 5-9. But then they wanted to go to the club. I got home at 1.30 after driving a gf home (2 gfs actually) otw home coz she trained there coz the karaoke was around the corner to the station, the club was not. And that’s where we left from. So I told him I’m not sure, maybe 10 maybe 1. Maybe 2. I’ll see. But I always send him a snap of when I’m on the car and otw home. When I jump in my car the first thing I do is send him a snap of me leaving so he knows okay she’s gonna be ~30m from the time I snapped.

I think it’s ok to ask, as long as “ehh I’m not sure yet” is an ok response. Or unless he’s completely disrespectful with your time

I don’t pester my hubby about the time but I do ask for an eta so that I don’t have to worry if he gets back late. He does the same for me.

I ask my hubby all the time lol not everyday but most days, only cause I'm eager to see him, he's worked some super long days the past few weeks, and he seems to be excited when I ask, he always calls when he sees it and will say I'm heading home now or gonna make a stop and then head in. I think it all depends on the tone and of course why you're asking, I think if he thinks you've got some work for him once he gets off, he'd probably be annoyed by it.

Depends, is it a question you’re asking to be curious? Or are you badgering him about the time if it’s past a certain time? I ask mine to just text me when he’s headed home so I know. But he doesn’t have to specify a time.

We use Life360, so I generally know when he is headed home. Before that, I would ask him & he would sometimes get annoyed because sometimes, he just would never know what time he’d be home because his job might add on another job for him to go to. I don’t think it’s a bad question, though.

We never give exact times but usually will say between blank and blank.

I never really ask bc I know, he just tells me his plan always And if it gets later I ask just sometimes “are you okey love ?” Full trust between us it’s just to be sure he’s alive 😅 sometimes I’m so afraid it happens something to him like in the road or something Also sometimes you just need an indication to have an idea if you cook for him or not, wait for him or not… But I can also see why he doesn’t like it, it can be resented stressful as a question, as if the person asking doesn’t like you being out and want you back Have a talk about why you need to know and why he doesn’t like this question ! Both can be totally valid

I don’t see asking one time before they leave as a bad thing just to get a general idea. And then if they aren’t home by that time checking in just to make sure that they are okay, and being like okay I love you see you when you get here.

lol I ask my husband this every time he goes to work

My oh will usually say it won’t be a late one. I can usually tell by who he’s meeting up with and where. I might text and ask how it’s going to get a general idea although he’s usually on his way home then. He doesn’t really like going out anymore anyway. Sometimes it’s not really a question you can answer.

He doesn't have a set time for work, he just goes and comes as he finishes his work so if he's not home by the time I'm making dinner I ask if he's coming home soon but he never cares if I ask

I don’t normally ask when will you be home I more ask if he has test or things he needs to do after work. Seeing as sometimes he can be home 40 minutes after he is off or four hours. I also don’t ask due to he gets home in the mornings so depending on how the babies slept we will either be awake or asleep. Also I don’t think it’s a bad question unless theirs an underlying reason behind it (ex: cheating, or something else that’s unfaithful)

I ask my husband every day when he will be home. In his job he works different hours each day so I like to know when he's home. Otherwise I would have no clue.

I ask my partner everyyyy day, he is self employed so his home times are vary a lot. We love to keep in touch with each other about this because it could mean we eat lunch together or separately, we can start dinner together if separately. We also ask when we’re not working, and we’re doing things separately. We just keep tabs so we can do things together but we absolutely do not hold eachother accountable if the times we get home don’t “match up” to the times we’ve told eachother. I don’t think it’s bad at all🤷🏼‍♀️

Incognito, to be fair it's not a bad question to ask. I guess it just comes down to how it makes him feel when he receives your message while he is out catching up with friends or his brother. But it definitely triggers him in some way to feel annoyed. Instead txt something like.. " Enjoy your time and see you when you get home" I Love you.❤️ He will definitely respond back to what time he will be home lol

My husband gets annoyed too, which is annoying to me- but I’m like I don’t care when you get home. I just need to know so I can plan my life accordingly. Because there’s a difference between how I’m gonna plan my night if you’re getting home at 8 PM or if you’re out until midnight.

i would probably ask “do you know what time you’ll be home?” just because it seems a bit more passive vs “what time will you be home?” could come across as nagging. but if the relationship is healthy neither should be an issue. maybe ask why he gets annoyed by it? did he have a past relationship that was controlling and he’s triggered by it? and just let him know that you’re just wanting to know around when to expect him home and when you should be worried if he’s not back yet. i feel like it’s appropriate to ask anyone you care about what time they’ll be home/text you when they get home safe etc.

These kinds of questions can be nerve wrecking and annoying when they are excessive. In any case, both of you should find a middle ground and be more accommodating to each other.

Totally appropriate question to ask. It's essentially a "next meeting" time. I ask for an approximate time and then often say text when you're on your way home. It is helpful for managing the house and kids. It allows me to function without "waiting around". Does he plan to be home for lunch? Should I wait for him or prepare food for the kids? If he's coming home after they go to bed then I don't care and I've learned not to stay awake for him.