Feeling left out since having my daughter

Could you tell them how you feel? And ask them to invite you snd you'll make it when you can? And not to be offended if you say no? X

Do they have kids or no? And have you said no before when they’ve invited you out? Sometimes when a mum says no a lot we tend to stop inviting. Because she also feels bad always saying no (or has FOMO) so we naturally stop inviting. I’m at an age now where most my friends have kids, my girl group is all single and coparenting except me I’m the only one still married, and so when we make plans we make sure 4/5 of us can come and it’ll still go ahead, we are all invited but sometimes one of us have other plans and can’t. But if you you’re not invited at all maybe host a lunch/dinner, be the one to say let’s go here or let’s go there and let’s do this next week, so you invite them as you are free and see who can make it. We take turns inviting, next week one of the girls are hosting dinner and karaoke at hers- she’s never really invited before. Take initiative and invite? Or look for an event to go to and say hey girls wanna join me for this. Or host at yours and do a night at yours.

@Kellie I’m the only one with a child they are still in their party phase. I haven’t been invited out anywhere since getting pregnant. When we have gone out it has always been me that said let’s meet for lunch or let me know your plans for your birthday. I’ve invited them to an event I’m going to in September and they said they would come. They are always fully booked, I had to wait 2 months for them to tell me when they were free for bottomless brunch as well. They only like to go out drinking they don’t like doing anything else and I’m not a big drinker anymore.

Sounds like you’ve outgrown them. Time to make more mum friends I think, mum friends that still like to go out here and there. Or find hobby group for you and there you’ll naturally make friends (mums or not) but have other interest than just going out to drink. Still fun though just not, getting smashed each time

This isn’t helpful at all but I am in the same boat. I didn’t have a lot of friends to begin with and now having a little one I have no one, well that’s how it feels. I did meet someone on this app and we go out now and again but other than that it is literally just me, myself and I. I do have a partner but he will never sit still so he is always doing something whether it be doing bits in the garden or going out with friends which I don’t get to do.

@Kellie I’ve been trying to make mum friends for ages it’s so hard. On here I think I’ve started to make good friends and then everyone just stops replying it puts me off even attempting to try and make friends again

@Jade yeah I’m basically the same. My partner sees his friends all the time and I hardly see mine. They either forget we have plans or just cancel on me or leave me out

They're in a phase you're no longer in, we'll at least for the time being. I've been here and at first I was so offended and hurt, like how unfair and inconsiderate! But then I realized that what works for them didn't work for me and vice versa. I also had to realize I now have a responsibility that they currently don't have so they might not really fully understand until they walk this path. I would let them know that you'd still like to be invited, regardless if you're able to attend or not — but if that doesn't make a difference know the fomo is felt on both sides of the coin and you'll find your new group soon. I don't know if this helps but I hope you know you're not alone in this feeling and it's just what happens when there's a big life change in a group of friends, especially if you're the first to go through it.

I’m in the same boat. I used to go out almost everyday everyone asking me to come with them to the bar and to chill but once I got pregnant no one really hit me up other than family. It sparked something in me to where I just feel like I didn’t need them anymore and they weren’t good friends for my life path because I don’t care for my whole life to be drinking or smoking anymore even though sometimes doesn’t sound bad. I feel people grow and change and everything happens for a reason

I wish I could say it will change, but I can’t imagine it will. Until they have children themselves and understand what you’re going through, they will never realise how they’re making you feel. However you will find people who are a lot more suited to being your friend now, whether that’s through play groups, cafes etc and you will appreciate them so much more as they will understand everything you’re going through, and it makes your friendship that much more special🫶🏼 I know it’s hard, i went through the exact same thing. I now only have one friend who I’ve met since having my little one, but her friendship means so much more to me than the many others I had before I had a child. It will get better, maybe not with those same people, but it will get better x