Am I Overreacting About My Husband’s Behavior

If your husband consistently looks up polyamory and uses it to justify his cheating in the past would you leave him? Context: I work full-time from home, run my own business, and I’m the breadwinner. We have a 2-month-old baby, and I still handle almost everything around the house. Today while I was out with my mom and our son, my husband said he was leaving to go pick up his nephew. Instead, he went out to eat with his friend and two girls from their job — one of the girls had already texted him while I was recovering from giving birth saying, ‘I miss you, friend. I can’t wait for you to come back.’ He never told me he was going out to eat — when I called him, he acted like he had. Meanwhile, I was taking care of getting the brakes fixed on the car he drives, but I couldn’t even pick it up because he wasn’t around when the shop called. On top of that, I found out he’s been consistently looking up polyamory and open relationships behind my back. I’m tired of doing everything and still being lied to and disrespected.

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idk, kinda sounds like you don’t need him around

You need to leave asap

My husband was very transparent about him being strictly monogamous. You can't change someone who isn't. I've known male friends like that and to their own good they eventually just got with women who felt the same way. I'd consider ending the relationship. Unless you can accept him having affairs.

Him looking up polyamory is fine, I myself have seen more documentaries on Objectophilia than should even exsist on one topic, but I assure you I'm not one myself. However him attempting to justify his cheating in anyway is dead ass wrong and the biggest red flag. Not to mention him cheating, then lying about anything after??? Nope, not overreacting. Under-reacting honestly. I personally would be done but that's easier said than done.

yeah if you don’t want a polyamorous relationship you should leave him. if he’s poly that’s fine but all parties involved must be on the same page for it to be a polyamorous relationship/open relationship vs cheating so if that’s not the relationship you agreed on then you deserve better, someone who respects you and your relationship and he needs to find somebodies elsewhere.

What exactly is he bringing to your life?? If you’re making the money and doing everything around the house and he can’t even be loyal to you then what’s the point?! The absolute audacity of these kind of men just blows me away.

For me personally, looking up polyamory and open relationships isn’t necessarily a problem — I see it more as an opportunity to have an open conversation about what he’s looking for in the relationship. As long as he isn’t acting on those curiosities or fantasies behind your back, I don’t think it’s a major issue. It’s important to let him know that his actions make you uncomfortable and give him a chance to explain his side. However, the real concern here is the lying — that should be the top priority to address. If you want to stay with him, you both need to work on rebuilding trust. If not, it might be best to go your separate ways, especially since it sounds like you’re already handling everything on your own.

Ah I voted yes when I read the part about would you leave him! Yes i absolutely would and you’re not overreacting.

I never normally say this, but yeh leave him, you're doing everything and he's still acting this way, don't let him disrespect you like that! Know your worth!

Sweetie, plz run . And run now ! You don’t need him girl ! And you’re the bread winner . I honestly think, he’s definitely cheating on you with ole’ girl who texted him saying “I miss you, friend. Your husband is showing no respect to you at all. He’s lying , & I’ll put any money on it he’s cheating as well. A lot of ppl don’t realize cheating doesn’t start with sleeping with one another . It starts with the flirty text messages. So plz, find other resources to leave him, if he’s not going to be honest with you,& stop doing what he’s doing . Good luck hunni🌺

What does this man contribute?? He can still be a good dad and not live with you, if that’s what you’re worried about. Damn, you got your whole life together and he’s doing… what, exactly?

Girl, if you are on here asking this question, you already know. He has cheated on you before, and that has broken the trust and vows you both made to each other. You’re already single parenting, take the plunge. But as someone who has seen a LOT of divorce by the coworkers around me, quietly go to a few divorce lawyers for a free consult in the area and get a head start. Even if he is a dirtbag, he can still take wayyy too much money from you in a divorce. If you can find any proof (texts) of him admitting to cheating, that’s gold. I know this is so stinking hard, but imagine if it were your kids? You want them to grow up and know what real love looks like. P.S. I read your initial question wrong and put “yes” to over reacting but my brain thought you were asking if you should divorce 😮‍💨

Damn he not even the breadwinner… can’t be poly and broke🤣🤣🤣🤣leave him be

Honestly just read the first sentence. Polyamory requires consent from all parties involved otherwise it’s cheating. You can still cheat in a polyamorous relationship.