Partner working too many hours

Maybe ask hin why he feels he needs to work more hours before you say anything about you not wanting him to work more. Maybe he has a good reason.

I agree. Ask him why he wants to work extra hours.

Being a SAHM is hard when you feel like you're a single parent sometimes. Sometimes, it's what you sign up for when you choose to be the one at home. If there isn't a financial reason, he needs to be at work more than a simple " Hey, is this necessary?" Might help🤷‍♀️ Explain why you would like him home and what he could be missing out on being away so much. Add on: I think alot of us with men that work hard for many hours weekly feel the same way, we don't want to raise our children alone, but i do think our men don't really want to be gone as much as they are so they are torn between providing and also spending time...it can't be easy for them either. Give each other some grace and talk calmly. If you can't talk calmly " Table it" until you can. Good luck, Mama! I was in your shoes once, now I'm like, "Love you, bye! Got shit to do!" Doesn't mean the love and affection isn't the same. It just means you both know the importance of the roles you play in your relationship and what's best for your family.

@Claudia thank you for responding! Usually, his reasons have been our bills but they have always been the same but recently our rent went up slightly. if he works more than he already does, I’ll have no help, and I’ll be technically raising our child alone. 😭

Understandable from both your side and his. Im SAHM of three boys and my husband travells for work sometimes and its hard but like Holly said sometimes being a single parent is what we sign up for.

I would ask too why he would want to work more. And me personally I would express ur concern for his health working that much. A lot of stress of over working is not good for his heart or mind. And maybe show him ur finances that over working himself might not be completely necessary, you and ur baby absolutely need him around for endless reasons. I would also express ur safety with him being gone so much, people watch mothers and will plan a home invasion. Not to scare u but having ur husband around can prevent that.

If he wants to work more, he more than likely wants more, or extra money. Which is understandable for a man who wants to provide for his family.. I understand wanting him home more though, my husband also works a lot. But I also know that it takes sacrifices on both ends and for us to both fulfill our duties. He is making an income for the home, and I'm caring over the household and children.

I would ask him why he’s working more and if he mentions the bills again maybe suggest sitting down and discussing finances, bills, and budgeting so he doesn’t have to work as much. I totally get it from both sides as I’m a SAHM and my husband works long hours and travels but that’s how bills get paid

@Justine, thank you for your kind response. I’m a stay-at-home mom, and spending so much time alone for that long has been exhausting and lonely. I don’t think he understands how I feel, even though he claims to. He doesn’t put my perspective into the same context as he does when it comes to money.

@Karma, discussing money is a sensitive topic in our house . He covers all expenses which I am grateful for , but whenever we sit down to talk about finances , we end up in heated arguments. I appreciate your advice.

This is going to sound bad but why did he want to have children? Because working 14 hours a day does not leave much, if any, time to parent and nearly guarantees that you will not be giving your best self to the kids/your wife. Do you all absolutely need the money? Are there places both/either of you could cut back to take some pressure off him regarding the fiances? Because as someone else said, that is also not going to be good for his health. At the bare minimum, I would ask that he agree on a time to revisit his hours together. Like maybe three months to check in and see how both of you are handling it? For everyone's sake and for the sake of your marriage too!

I always express to my husband I choose his presence over an extra $100 the poorest people find time for their families and so do the richest people so I think an average man can find time for his family. Life is too short and we don’t get these memories back with our little ones.

Mine works 7 days a week and 16 hours 2 of those days. So yes I am the one with the baby 100% of the time, when he’s home he’s usually asleep. Which I totally don’t mind. But we did have to have a conversation about help. He now watches her during the day from time to time when I need to get something done and she’s being fussy, and he generally helps for a few hours before he goes to work. Obviously on the days he works 16 hours I don’t really bother him at all

@AnnaOh my gosh ! How do you manage to handle that ? It’s been incredibly difficult for me, and I honestly get so upset with him. The sad part is that I don’t think he’s going to change his schedule anytime soon. he usually stays with the baby on Saturdays so that I can work that one day of the week but it’s not enough

@Justine, thank you. I completely agree. I’d rather have him at home than those extra dollars he wants to make

Don't listen to the women basically telling you to just accept it since he's the financial provider. Is it true that sometimes reality sucks and he *has to* work 14 hour days and you just deal with it? Yes, but from the sound of your post I don't think that's your situation. You are allowed to express your wants, needs and boundaries with him and push for change if things aren't working for you. I doubt that when you agreed to stay home you were expecting 14 hour days and being on call 24/7 for the foreseeable future. Also if he wanted you to be a stay at home mom, he needs to make sacrifices too (obviously, assuming they are there to be made) and maybe for him that means cutting back on luxuries so he can be home for you and the children. Sorry for the rant, I just can't stand the mindset of "well he's earning the money so you just have to shut up and deal." No thank you, let's not wind back the clock ladies. *Especially* since sahms don't have the community support they once did.

I mean it was difficult at first and we had a few disagreements but I just told him straight up: I don’t care how sleepy you are, you need to take care of your kid too. I told him I’m with her 24/7. You clock out of work after 8 hours and come home and I’ve been with the baby those 8 hours and then literally the rest of the day. I’m tired too dude. And I also just told him he’s got to suck it up and do his part because we’re in this together. There’s no reason to run me ragged between making his lunches for work, breastfeeding the baby, cleaning the house, watching and cleaning up after our puppy, and then barely caring for myself after all that. When he’s here and he can help a little bit. He usually helps me wash her bottles and my pump parts, and when I do laundry he’ll help fold clothes. And recently he’s been helping make sure the puppy has food/water etc. I don’t really let him do more than that because I like things done a very specific way and also I still want him to rest

He also changes our baby and feeds her when he’s awake. So I can eat or do whatever else

I feel you!! My partner is supposed to work Monday-Thursday he leaves before 6am and is home 630 however baby goes to bed at 7 so he’s not home much and he works overtime and might take one day off the whole week and that day we have to go get groceries, do chores take the kids out etc I wish he would work less but all he sees is how much money he can make