Am I losing the plot?

My partner came back from work and as usual I slipped into bed with him to enjoy some cuddles. I slid my hand down there but something wasn’t right. I could smell a perfumed scent on his d*ck and it felt really moisturised. He hadn’t gone to use the bathroom yet and he went straight into bed from work after getting changed. I asked him what it was and I asked him if he wanked or something. He became really argumentative and suggested that I was accusing him of cheating. Bare in mind he’s usually home at 6:30pm but came home at 8:00pm yesterday as he said he stayed back for overtime. Am I bugging out?

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Idk I think that level of defensiveness could be a red flag. If he had nothing to hide why would he get defensive.

The argumentative nature says there’s more either you have to talk it out when his calmed down or investigate until you know more

You are not buggin

Lots of questions to be asked in this situation, first the defensive response would be a red flag…

Do you think perhaps he’s jacking off at work and embarrassed to admit it? As the obvious thing would be he’s used a type of lotion. It’s weird he also jumped to defending himself thinking you’re accusing him of cheating when all you’ve done is asked if he jerked off. I would wait till he has calmed down and ask for an honest answer

How do I approach this? He keeps telling me I’m losing the plot?

I've never heard the expression "losing the plot" so I'm not too sure what it means. As others have said, I think you need to try to have a discussion with him when he's calmed down. Maybe try to validate his feelings so he's less defensive, "I understand it upset you when I questioned you about this, I'm not trying to accuse you of anything and would like to talk about it so I can understand and we can both feel comfortable". If he continues getting defensive then I think that's a bigger issue, because he should be able to communicate and have a discussion like an adult.

@Skye it means you’re going crazy or you’re not thinking. It’s most commonly used in the UK 😂

You aren't losing the plot. He's deflecting. He's projecting it on to you. He's guilty. Kick him to the curb. If he can't have an actual grown up conversation without instantly putting his back up then there's a problem. If he hasn't got anything to hide then why would he try and hide it. You never even mentioned cheating. He's already trying to make himself the victim here. Don't be fooled xx

Sounds like he’s trying to deflect instead of actually addressing your concerns. Go through that phone, deleted text folder, emails, and check for hidden apps.

I’d be absolutely losing my mind on him girl.

I'd be suspicious for sure. I wouldn't say anything further, if he is cheating, once you let him know your suspicious, he make sure he covers every track. So I'd keep a mental note and definitely check his phone when you can (or look for a secret phone). Just keep your eyes open for any other changes.

Check his phone and location girl only way to know xx

Also uber/lyft history

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