Marriage troubles

Been with my husband for almost 13 years. He has gone behind my back and hid things from me and lied multiple times. Some were even talking to other people. This last time was ordering sex stuff without telling me and hiding it. Idk what to think or feel. We have 2 kids and I love my family so much but idk how much more I can take. The constant feeling that he’s hiding something from me. We currently aren’t really talking. He swears it won’t happen again and he’s afraid to lose me. But I have a hard time believing him and I can’t trust him. Where do I from here? I really don’t want to leave I still love him even though he’s hurt me. But I feel like I need a little space or something at least. Anybody in a similar boat? Or went through similar? How do you fix this?