How is everyone else handling the sahm work load 😭

I’m losing my mind 😭😭😭 I’m so angry everyday I try my best to breath and stay calm but my kids trigger me so much. They don’t listen my house is a mess there’s laundry undone. Idk what I was thinking some days having kids almost back to back. It’s so hard and I don’t have a village to depend on. They’re all hr and half away drive. My partner is gone most the time for work trips. He’s usually gone for days sometimes a week and I’m just stuck here doing everything alone. I feel so terrible for my kids because they see the worst part of me. I don’t even have time in the day to even bond with them since there’s so much to do all the time. I don’t have time to even breathe. From the moment I get up to the moment I fall asleep and throughout the night it’s a constant need for me. I’m so frustrated. I don’t want to just be surviving, I want to be able to enjoy being with them. But I can’t cause I’m so stuck in this constant anger and overstimulation from the kids