Co parenting
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I’d be honest and when he asks tell him where he’s going. He may get upset but you’re his comfort so you have to support him and remind him that he’ll have fun and it’s ok to be upset you’re here for him
It’s quite hard to communicate with his dad. He does what he does at his house and that’s it in his mind. I always feel like I co parent with my ex’s mum then with him as she tells me more and my son says nanny got me this I ask who baths him and who plays with him he says nanny. He does say daddy but I’m hearing more nanny. I thought maybe his dad needs more time with him other then weekends few weeks ago I suggested as the nights are getting lighter maybe he can sometimes take him for dinner or to the park then bring him back to mine. He said he will but nothings happened yet. I’m not sure because it’s such a long time waiting till weekend. I think my son might have adhd /autism as I see quite a lot that he does that shows. I have autism and adhd and so does my oldest child but his dad doesn’t even want to listen when I suggest even tho I have been told he has sensory issues when we have had occupational therapy appointments etc so can be hard to talk to his dad
@Amy That sounds really hard. I'd probably try and get Nanny on board rather than him then. If its autism the need for familiarity will be even more important. Maybe Nanny will help Sync his routine etc. It's so difficult when the other parent isn't communicative and your child has needs to sort.
When I talk to Nan about it it sounds like sometimes she on board with me when I say to his dad about it he just says she’s not saying the same to him. I feel there are a lot of different things being said to me and to him from the nan. Like when they pick up from mine and my son says the words no I don’t want to go to daddy’s house the Nan will just say come on don’t be silly and he just goes but cry’s/looks sad and same when his dad comes to pick I don’t know why they not listening to my son they just say he’s playing up that’s all.
I'd be more focused on why he doesn't want to go than encouraging him. Is it lack of attention? Routine? Lack of patience when being cared for? There is a reason despite the fun times. Try and make sure dad follows the same routines in terms of bedtime, mornings, simillar food, etc... make more familiarity. A visual timetable of when he goes where will help prepare him. Not knowing who is coming probably causes anxiety.