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Placentas behaving badly 🤣

Struggling.

2 weeks post op from c-section/ partial hysterectomy due to placenta increta that was close to being percreta. They suspected a focal placenta accreta since 20 weeks at my MFM anatomy scan. We were scheduled for 37 weeks to do c-section with possible hysterectomy because I was stable and they really weren’t sure of what was really happening even with an MRI at 28 weeks and over 10 ultrasounds. At 35 weeks 2 day, I had minimal spotting for the first time and it was decided it was best to not wait and deliver baby girl 35+3 in a VERY controlled environment. I opted for an epidural so I could be awake in case it was worse case scenario with hemorrhaging and needing hysterectomy. Once they pulled baby girl out, I started bleeding very badly. I needed 4 units of blood, 2 units of platelets, and 2 units of plasma. I stayed conscious the entire time and thankfully made it out on the survivor side. Baby girl was in NICU for less than 24 hours and we got to go home 3 days after she was born. Since 20 weeks, I tried to mentally prepare myself of the possibility of losing my uterus. We wanted more kids and I feel robbed I didn’t get to enjoy what I know now, was my last pregnancy. I’ve been trying to be positive and tell myself I have 2 beautiful daughters and got to carry two pregnancies but I feel like reality is slowly hitting now. As soon as I start to think about not having more babies or all the trauma, I shut it off in my brain because it’s like I can’t handle the reality. I start therapy next Thursday to talk about everything and hopefully get some coping skills. Just wondering if any mamas who have gone through this or can relate and give some advice, it would be so appreciated. xo Mel❤️