Cry it out

How old is toddler? Are they still napping? We went through a phase with our now 3 year old - basically we were pushing that nap for longer than we should have. Dropped it and he went back to being a dream at bedtime again. We then had another phase when his baby sister arrived, but that just resolved itself over time and we just had to consistently keep reminding him that it was bed time, we’d have extra cuddles but tell him “if you’re not ready to sleep yet you can read a book but it is bed time now”.

@Liz 18 months. Usually has 1 nap (anything from 30 minutes to 90 minutes) if we go out and about, but nothing if staying home. We have tested out if no naps makes a difference.. but unfortunately not.

Please don’t leave your toddler to cry it out it’s so damaging. There is an 18 month regression and it’s more than likely your routine needs tweaking but your baby needs you x

My LG (17 months) will also have meltdowns if we try and rock her to sleep. We've found if we lay next to her on our bed she'll fall asleep a lot easier, then we transfer her to her own bed. She still has a nap in the day, but have recently started to cap it. She's now back to sleeping through the night. I personally couldn't leave her to cry.

Sounds like the 18 month sleep regression. Id be looking at the timings cos at 18 months they still need a nap. Overtired by bedtime could be causing everything you've mentioned cos they are struggling to switch off initially and waking regularly cos the sleep pressure isn't right. When do they wake, nap and go to bed? Cry it out isn't they stop crying cos they've exhausted themselves it's that they have realised that nobody is coming to meet their needs so they preserve their energy instead.

@Rebecca this is the same issue I’m having, I physically can’t find it in me to listen to the crying and screaming and wondering how people are able to have it work for them and their children

@Natalie usually wakes anytime from 7:30-8am, if napping will be around midday and then bedtime at 7pm, however it hasn’t quite been 7 lately as taking hours to get down.

Id say the gap before bed is too long. Especially if the nap is 30 minutes. The gap before nap is 4-4.5 hours but after is 5.5-6.5 (depending on nap length). I'd aim for 5-5.5 hours after nap before bed. Nap a bit earlier may help too (maybe 11.30)

@Natalie this is obviously just a rough estimate though as today for example she hasn’t napped yet, but will most likely be going down in the next half an hour when we head out. And yesterday she was asleep by 11:45. So she’s very all over the place, but then again always has been and has never had any issues sleeping, maybe just a phase

Could be. Id personally try for the nap at a consistent time/within 30 mins either way so they know the routine and what to expect.

We found she doesn't really cry if we lay next to her, rather than hold her. She gets herself comfy and gives in a lot quicker. We'll sometimes have a lullaby playing in the background when she does have a cry, or we sing twinkle twinkle 😆 We also offer her a teddy, but take it away when she falls asleep.

Ah 18 months is young (but not unheard of) to drop the nap. Could be the opposite and could be overtiredness! Maybe try reintroducing the nap or bringing bedtime forward a bit?!

@Liz I know, LO pretty much self-dropped the nap, it came with it’s issues as I felt having that bit of time during the day to get stuff done without also looking after a toddler was a godsend, and struggled getting anything done with LO not sleeping. But again, with or without the nap, doesn’t seem to be making a difference right now. So difficult 😩

How old is he/she? My son has been sleeping much better since we stopped naps + taking him out for 2 hours in the late afternoon. It could be a sleep regression or could be their schedule needs readjusting as they get older and more active