Stuck between guilt & “ survival “

Hi all, I really need some advice or perspective—my brain is spinning in circles. I’m currently 27 weeks pregnant, and my partner and I moved 400 miles about 6 months ago to be closer to family after a really tough few years. We’d both struggled mentally where we were due to an assault within our job, and we just wanted a fresh start before starting a family. Our baby was planned after a loss, but I must reiterate that we did NOT expect to conceive on the first month of trying and we were in a far better position 6 months ago. We ended up moving into a 1-bed, 425 sq ft flat right in the middle of a major, busy city centre, paying £1180/month, which is now completely draining us. This was fine at the time, as I was not pregnant and as I say did not expect to be so quickly. It was supposed to be a temporary solution to be back with my family, but it’s become clear that it’s financially unsustainable. We’ve cut every corner we can, but we’re barely scraping by, can’t save, and never do anything “extra.” Every penny goes to rent and bills. Fortunately, we have managed to purchase absolutely everything for our baby without cutting corners there. To make things harder, my partner lost his job during the move (not his fault), and since then our small business has been funding us—but only just. I left employment due to HG at 9 weeks and since then have really had to push the business to the max. Recently, he was offered his old job back, which is a great opportunity—but it comes with a catch: he’d have to start on June 30th and won’t be allowed any time off for the first 7 weeks. That means he’d miss the birth of our daughter and the first couple of weeks of my recovery from an elective c-section. I’d be alone with a newborn, and a dog, recovering from surgery, with my family still 80 miles away. The next start date is August 30th which could work, but means we will have to financially struggle for 4 more months and I won’t be able to stop woroking at all. Now here’s the other option: My grandma has just moved into a new 3-bedroom home in my small birth city where i actually have more roots—lots of friends, and my family would be just 5 minutes away. She’s offered for us to move in, to save money for a new home, and get back on our feet. It would let us save at least £900/month, allow my partner to apply for jobs in his field again without feeling rushed (which is nearly impossible here—he keeps getting declined for being “overqualified”), and I’d have support. But I feel torn. I feel guilty about giving up our flat, especially because it’s only just had a long list of issues resolved this week, and now we’re talking about leaving. That isn’t going to look good. I feel ashamed— we’re adults, having a child, and going to live with family. I’m worried about switching hospitals this late and what that means for my planned c-section. What if they refuse to accommodate in the new hospital? And I’m sad that we’d be giving up our own space and sense of “home” just before bringing our baby into the world. Pros of moving in with my grandma: Save £900+ a month Close to family and support (5 mins away instead of 80 ) Better job opportunities for my partner Better lifestyle—no longer just surviving Easier environment for our dog Friends nearby, strong community Emotional and physical support for birth/recovery Cons: Giving up our independence and our home Feeling like we’re going backwards in adulthood My 7-year-old cousin stays with my grandma 3 nights a week Guilt about leaving just as the flat was fixed Moving stress while heavily pregnant Fear of family dynamics or loss of privacy Feel like I’m dragging my partner through instability. My partners family live 400 miles away and he eventually wants to live somewhere in the middle, so I feel really guilty now moving in with my family but have told him we will make regular trips to visit his family for extended periods of time. I feel stuck between what’s emotionally hard (but logically smart), and what looks good on paper (but is draining us completely). If only I hadn’t of been in such a rush last year and waited a little while longer, we would’ve never been in this situation in the first place. I suppose this is more a rant than anything, but any advice would be most welcome.