My son is exactly the same. I see what your husband is saying as my husband says the same. But at the end of the day I think my husband’s feelings are hurt and he wants to persevere but I wouldn’t let my son fall asleep distressed when something could be done. Only suggestion I have is to do bedtime together and let that become the new norm until you are able to step back. I just do it myself now as my husband wasn’t willing to share hahaha
Maybe start with dad being at bedtime but you leading it. And slowly have dad do more, but you stay. Let your LO get used to dad being around at that time..... I also can't let my LB go to sleep all upset xx