I need advice
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Totally understand and in same position. It frustrates me so much how much mum’s have to sacrifice x
So two things that helped me explain it to my husband: 1. I left a piece of paper on the counter for 24 hours and wrote down everything single thing I did for the kids or our family (diaper changes, bottles, meals, cutting nails, registering toddler for things). I filled up like 4 pages. 2. Theres this book called Being There; why prioritizing motherhood in the first 3 years matters. It talks about how harmful it can be if mom is away and why it’s important mom is there. I got myself a hobby. I took the babies to a book store one day and read thru a few different kinds. Turns out I like horror books 🫣 its kinda cool to have something just for myself.
Hi there. I hate the fact that so many women are going through this. They need to have classes for dads to thoroughly understand what it’s like to be in this predicament. I’ve explained this to my husband, and it’s still a battle. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope he understands where you’re coming from and you guys reach an understanding to help you get what you need. But in the meantime, you can’t control what he does; you can only do what’s best for you.
One thing that has helped us - was giving Dad opportunity to 'figure it out' for himself, with full trust and no criticism! Dedicated 'daddy/baby time' - if he goes out without a loaded diaper bag... He won't do that twice. Need to pee - he figures out a safe space to leave babe! Uh-oh... No clean onesies... bet he keeps a closer eye on the laundry!! But if we don't give them the opportunity, they don't know what it takes or even what to look for. As far as hobbies and places to go... I feel that 💕 I just had to pass on a fun work trip myself, baby needs me. I still don't do my old hobbies (rowing with a women's crew) bc I still breastfeed and can't be away from babe that long. Inviting ppl over for short visit infrequently has been a happy medium to socialize with low pressure. BUT I still take 'daddy/baby time' to do things I need that isn't just childcare. Gardening, organizing, a short fun shopping trip. Not perfect, but a step in the right direction 💕 And, it's ok to grieve these things too 💕
I feel you, I’m in the same position and he doesn’t understand, it just creates a fight. And I end up hurting myself, I take my son everywhere with me, and when he goes out he goes by himself. It just doesn’t feel right. And it never gets easier I think :(