I'm wrong here?
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Ugh, I completely understand why you feel so frustrated, mama. You’re trying to protect your little ones and yourself while still being fair about the situation with SD. It’s not about playing favorites—it’s about what makes the most sense when someone is really sick and everyone else is at risk too. It’s totally unfair that you’re expected to carry the weight of the sick kids alone while he sleeps peacefully. You’re not saying SD shouldn’t be with you guys—just that it’s okay for her to recover at her mom’s when it’s the logical thing to do, especially when you’re not getting any help on his end. And honestly, the silent treatment and moodiness are just emotional manipulation. You’re allowed to set boundaries without being punished for them. You’re doing what’s best for the entire household, and it’s not wrong to want your partner to step up, especially when his choices affect you the most.
Whew this is my fiancé. He will allow his daughter to be sick and come over. If my kids and I are sick, she still comes. I’m fed tf up with the shit
You are definitely not wrong. My husband was the same way for a very long time. We spent about 3 years having that same disagreement. Tons of money spent on OTC meds.. doctors appts.. prescriptions... sleepless nights.. on top of days I would miss work and the kids missing school. Until one of those times, he caught whatever my SD had, and he got the worse symptoms... that he even ended up shitting himself. Lol, it was until then that he saw my point... he was sick for about 2 weeks. Ever since then, he stopped letting his kids come over even if they had the slightest cold/cough.. there would be times that we wouldn't get his kids for months at a time because of how often they would get sick. Mind you, all, this was way before covid. So when covid happened, we didn't see his kids for almost the whole year of 2020 and 2021.
This one is hard for me as I see both sides. I have been through this with my fiance many times over, especially during covid and when I was pregnant/shorty after our daughter was born. Sometimes it just made more sense to isolate at which ever house they were at when their symptoms started, other times it was hard because we have equal custody and my fiance is of the mindset that this is just as much their home and we need to treat it as if they were with us full time. You can't just pawn one of your kids off when they are sick when you have them full time so why leave them away from you for extended periods when they are sick and happen to start showing their symptoms at the other parents house. But he is also one to take care of them when they are sick, no problem. Better care than their mom does in many circumstances. He hates going without seeing them. So I get his perspective. I try to imagine if it were our daughter would I want her away from us when she is not feeling well. But I get how you feel.
Just remember, depending on the virus it's hard to know when someone is completely done being contagious and many times they are contagious days before symptoms even start. It's hard to be away from your kids a long time, but if you can makeup the days when she's better and it's not too long hopefully and he can try and wait to maximize protection for your other kiddos. Either way, he shouldn't be ignoring your other kids just because he's upset with you. What do they have to do with it??
@Jen i completely understand your point. The issue here is that I get no help with the kids including SD too. He spends no time with her and expects me to do everything for her. I'm already exhausted with taking care of two toddlers with zero help from him. He will also not help with the house chores and meals when kids are sick.
OP that certainly changes my opinion then! Lol What's the point in him having her come over at all then if you are the one doing everything and he barely spends time? That's just weird
You’re not wrong yall just disagree because that’s his kid too. Men are like this for whatever reason about their kids my husband is the same way. Just stand on the fact that you’re protecting your kids which is WISE & you’re protecting your peace because you have no help. He will have to get over his feelings…. You’re being smart whether he likes it or not. What good is it for all the kids to be sick? 🤷♀️ questions that need answers. Even if the two you have at home, one was sick and the other wasn’t you’d have to navigate keeping them separate for a while until the sick one gets better. It’s not always preventable but in this case? It is.. I’m learning in marriage you just gotta stand on your principles and your reasoning if it’s reasonable and fair.